


i double d dare you!

by dabin



Category: NCT (Band), NCT Dream
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Light Angst, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Platonic Relationships, Slow Burn, Texting, Underage Drug Use, bc im a hoe for friendship, chensung are merely observers most of the time, donghyuck is chaotic evil, i added johnten bc they gon make a lot of appearances, i guess, its talked abt but in a banter way, jaemin is resident het, jeno doesnt go to class, just as messy as my other fic nice, maybe dkhfhdk, none of the dreamies actually have sex dw, other nct members make appearances, renjun n mark are panicked gays, so it makes sense at least imo, sorry they are a bunch of 16+ year olds, this just keep getting worse huh, yet miraculously passes anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-24 04:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 29,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14347782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dabin/pseuds/dabin
Summary: [injunnie]mercury is in retrograde this is the worst time to be stalking ppl on ig[h(yuck)]i want to cry[maknae]i am crying this is so fucking funny





	1. god yukhei

**Author's Note:**

> “dont u have another chatfic,,, a vixx one” well yes and im well aware that i havent posted in n years but i fell in love w nct dream and now im here nice  
> i will update that one eventually i PROMISE i just decided to start this one bc donghyuck is my spirit animal and school has me all types of stressed the dreamies are my outlet lel
> 
> since its a high school au n im only rlly familiar w the british n south african schooling system lets say they do a levels n what not its still set in sk tho lol im stretching my knowledge of the country

**[4.30am]**

**[chat : oh whoa whoa thats no no]**

 

 **[nanana]**  why has this chat been dead for like

5 years

 

 **[injunnie]**  !!!!!!!!!!

u were crying to me 4 hours ago abt how u arent ready for ur chemistry test tmrw

why is u awake

 

 **[nanana]**  i could be asksing u the same thing

 

 **[maknae]** askising

 

 **[nanana]** shut up ur 5

go back to watching ur reruns of paw patrol

 

 **[maknae]** oof

 

 **[injunnie]** uhn excuse u i fell asleep w my phone on my face the vibrations woke me up

 

 **[maknae]** doesnt sleeping near ur phone give u cancer

 

 **[injunnie]** u gullible child

 

 **[nanana]** welp

 **[nanana]** well i was watching pingu to help me relax

 

 **[injunnie]** at 4am???

 

 **[maknae]** wow n u called me 5

 

 **[nanana]** and why are YOU awake fetus

 

 **[maknae]** u got me there

 

 **[marken]** go th FUCK to sleep

 

 **[maknae]** aight grandpa

 

_maknae was kicked from the chat!_

 

**[9.30]**

 

 **[lele]** im wheEWINF

jisung ran up to me demanding i add him back

he raN INTO A LOCKER I CANTEUJDEHU

 

 **[h(yuck)]** that demon child deserves it

 

 **[jenope]** you of all people have no place callling others demonic

tru tho

 

 **[marken]** uHM

arent u guys in class??

 

 **[h(yuck)]** nope

im “sick” :((((((((((((((((

 

 **[marken]** u fake ass bithc

 

 **[h(yuck)]** :*

 

_**injunnie** added **maknae** to the chat! _

 

 **[jenope]** ah the peace was nice while it lasted

 

 **[maknae]** heY

 

 **[injunnie]** there is no such thing as peace when chenle exists

 

 **[lele]** HEY

where is nana hyung though

 

 **[injunnie]** in the middle of the test he was stressing abt

 

 **[lele]** yeet

 

 **[jenope]** i can smell his stress from here

 

 **[injunnie]** arent u doing the same test?

 

 **[jenope]** i know my limits

therefore i know when to step down

 

 **[injunnie]** you

cant step dowN From a test jeno

 

 **[h(yuck)]** uhm yes u can

 

 **[injunnie]** shut

 

 **[jenope]** anyway im seeking shelter in the gym bathroom playing ace attorney

 

 **[maknae]** ah hyung :’) when i thought u couldnt get more boring

 

 **[jenope]** you knoW WHA

shit i hear footsteps

gotta blasT

 

 **[lele]** oo suspense

 

 **[marken]** like i asked before

dont yall have class

 

 **[lele]** listen thats not important rn

 

 **[jenope]** nvm false alarm

 

 **[maknae]** hyung ur so lame wow

 

 **[jenope]** imma pretend i didnt see that

it was jaemin lol he gave up

 

 **[injunnie]** didnt ur test begin 20mins ago

 

 **[jenope]** “does that matter renjun” - jaemin

 

 **[injunnie]** i

its a 90min test??????

 

 **[jenope]** “hop off my dick renjun” - jaemin

 

 **[maknae]** why isnt he using his own phone

 

 **[jenope]** he said they had to hand in their phones at the beginning of the period

 

 **[maknae]** rough

 

 **[marken]** so no one is going to answer my q?

 

 **[h(yuck)]** yes good lord ur slow

 

-

 

“Donghyuck!”

 

 _Fuck._ The red head gripped his backpack straps and mentally readied himself for the teasing that awaited him as he spinned around on the heels of his beat up converse.

 

“What a surprise is it to see you here, I thought you were sick.” Jeno grinned at the sight of Donghyuck rolling his eyes as he jogged up to where he stood outside the school’s main building.

 

“Well, I thought it would be best I bless you all with my presence anyway. Wouldn’t want to deprive you all of my amazingness,” he pouted and bat his eyelashes at the elder, causing Jeno to grimace and increase his pace towards what most students dubbed _Satan’s Ballsack_ due to the lack of functioning A/C in most classrooms, its blaringly red bricked walls and the bane of every late student’s existence, Mr Kim, the hall patrolling Math lecturer.

 

“Come on ‘Hyuck,” Jaemin caught up and threw his arm around his shoulder, “We all know your mom just got tired of your shit and sent you here.”

 

Donghyuck fake smiled at the chestnut haired boy who clung onto his left side and pushed his index finger against his temple, causing Jaemin to stumble away, “And we all know you are meant to be in an Organic Chemistry test right now but you don’t see me saying anything, do you?”

 

“You got me there.”

 

-

 

**[5.13pm]**

 

 **[h(yuck)]** oh my god my life is over

 

 **[marken]** you say that at least 3 times a week

 

 **[h(yuck)]** im serious this time

 

 **[injunnie]** you said that last time too

 

 **[h(yuck)]** goddamnit just listen to me

so i was on ig, stalking wong yukhei, a God

 

 **[marken]** i already dont want to know

 

 **[h(yuck)]** UHM

i dont appreciate these interruptions ://

 

 **[injunnie]** sis no one cares ://

 

 **[lele]** OOF

wait why were u stalking yukhei ge

 

 **[h(yuck)]** WAIT

ge??? doesnt that mean hyung

you know him??

 

 **[injunnie]** there are a handful of chinese ppl at our school ofc we know him

 

 **[h(yuck)]** u know i dont appreciate ur sass renjun

 

 **[marken]** seem like he’s been spending too much time w u

 

 **[lele]** YEET

 

 **[injunnie]** will u STOP sayin that chenle

 

 **[lele]** make me u ass

 

 **[injunnie]** _i know where you live u lil shit dont start_

 

 **[jenope]** no clue what that mean but yeouch

chenle youve been hanging out w jisung too much

 

 **[maknae]** dont know how to feel abt that statement but ok

 

 **[lele]** ://////

 

 **[nanana]** am i the only one interested in finding out what stupid shit hyuck did

 

 **[marken]** yes

 

 **[injunnie]** yes

 

 **[jenope]** yes

 

 **[lele]** yes

 

 **[maknae]** yes

 

 **[h(yuck)]** OUCH

@ **nanana** thank u hun anyway as i was saying,,,, i was on his page casualling going thru his pictures frm like 3 year s ago

 

 **[injunnie]** as u do

 

 **[h(yuck)]** yeah standard right?

and i stumbled across this pictur e of him as a smol cute bby and i realise

my stupid ass finger double tapped

i LIKED it

 

 **[lele]** can’t u blame it on the weird timeline update

 

 **[h(yuck)]** NAH B

THE PICTURE IS FROM OVE R **500** DAYS AGO

 

 **[nanana]** iMS CREAMJFBEUBJ

 

 **[marken]** oh my god

oH MY GOD

 

 **[injunnie]** .

well looks like u have no choice

you gotta delete all ur social media and leave the school

my grandmother lives in busan u can stay w her

mercury is in retrograde **this is the worst time to be stalking ppl on ig**

 

 **[h(yuck)]** i want to cry

 

 **[maknae]** i am crying this is so fucking funny

 

**[5.00am]**

 

_jenope changed their name to sane #2_

_sane #2 changed marken’s name to maple syrup_

_sane #2 changed injunnie’s name to sane_

_sane #2 changed h(yuck)’s name to satan’s sugar baby_

_sane #2 changed nanana’s name to batman theme song sans the batman_

_sane #2 changed lele’s name to angry pingu_

_sane #2 changed maknae’s name to gatorade bb_

 

 **[sane #2]** we dont deserve normalcy

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** you sound like uve watched one too many episodes of cosmos :/

 

 **[sane #2]** shut up bitchface

 

 **[angry pingu]** who pissed in ur cereal this fine morning hyung

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** its 5 in th emorning my wonderful dream abt god yukhei and beyonce was interrupted by jeno’s angsty ass there is nothing fine about this morning

 

 **[angry pingu]** looks like i should have directed the question towards u

 

 **[maple syrup]** god yukhei?? beyonce i can understand but yukhei?

and maple syrup?? @sane #2 im disappointed

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** lets not dwell on my subconscious’ choice of love interests pls

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** i dont get my u/n

 

 **[gatorade bb]** dont appreciate this slander okay it was an accident and only lasted a week

 

 **[sane #2]** doesnt change the fact that it happened

 

 **[gatorade bb]** an d nana hyung if u dont get it u’re probably short a few cells up here :// might wanna get that check out

  
**[batman theme song sans the batman]** ur an ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u liked it ehe im still getting to know nct dream so hopefully characterisation will get better!! obvs italics means a diff language, if that wasnt clear  
> and bY THE WAY when i wrote this mercury was in retrograde so 
> 
> have a good day and stream/watch the mv for VIXX's newest comeback Scentist!!


	2. mystery liquids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno skips another test and donghyuck is gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant to post this last night lel but chores and chemistry homework happened :') gotta love high school

**[5.30pm]**

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** oh my lord

whos awake

biTCHES WAKE THE FUCK UP

 

 **[sane]** ok so first

ur vulgarity disgusts me

second

its five in the afternoon why would ppl be sleeping

 

 **[maknae]** i for one can confirm that chenle and i were doing the nap

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** n mark takes his daily old man nap around now

jaemin n jeno have extracurriculars what fucking nerds

 

 **[maknae]** they do sports??? you’re the one whos a part of the math club

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** anyway i meant wake up in a metaphorical sense too

the kings vixx are going to make a comeback in half an hour

 

 **[sane]** ????? dont u hate idol groups

and isnt that jeno’s fav group

 

 **[satan's sugar baby]** yes but i saw the teasers on jeno’s phone n i am v gay so

that n guy got me feelin some type of way ┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴

 

 **[maknae]** thats my cue to leave

 

 **[satan's sugar baby]** no one invited u to this convo but okay boo

 

**[6.30pm]**

 

 **[sane #2]** i am DECEASED

existence : shook, life : ruined

 

 **[satan's sugar baby]** for : vixx, dicks: out

 

 **[sane #2]** MOOD

i cant believe they just did that???? i want to tattoo every frame of that 3min12sec video on my retinas

 

 **[satan's sugar baby]** i have reached my peak gay levels this is great wow

 

 **[maple syrup]** can yall keep ur fanboying down

 

 **[sane #2]** bruh SAME

 

 **[satan's sugar baby]** and wow i didnt know renjun would be in the vid

 

 **[sane]** ??????????

 

 **[satan's sugar baby]** hiss hiss

 

 **[sane #2]** oMHfhfhshs

IM CRYIGNHR

 

 **[maple syrup]** guys

 

 **[angry pingu]** my renjun roasting senses were tingling whats going on

oh UUFBDJD

 

 **[sane]** _your existence is a plague upon the world just hearing you breath raises my blood pressure_

  
  
**[satan's sugar baby]** the fuck

 

 **[angry pingu]** even i didnt understand that

 

 **[maple syrup]** why am i even bothering  
  
-

_the next day_

  
"Kun-hyung!"  
  
Kun's head fell against the wet lunch table -  having been shocked out of his lethargic stupor -  causing the two other boys to giggle at the simultaneously red and green glossy mark left on his forehead.  
  
"Kun-hyung," Donghyuck panted once he had run to the table from the entrance of the near empty cafeteria. "I need you to translate -" he stopped at the sight of the mystery liquid rolling down the bridge of Kun's nose, the boy blissfully unaware due to the exhaustion brought upon him by Physics equations and Advanced Math.  
  
"Are you going to wipe that off or?" The red head sighed and shook his head at his poor hyung. _Wow, being old sure seems hard._  
  
Kun let out a deeper sigh and signaled for the younger to pass his phone, wiping his nose w the tattered sleeve of his school sweater.  
  
"Why couldn't you get Renjun or Chenle to translate it for you?" Ten piped up, sitting whilst sipping a large Caprisun he shared with the equally tired Johnny next to him.  
  
Donghyuck cringed at the displayed lack of boundaries between the two. "Renjun is the one who sent me the message and Chenle communicates in dolphin screams so he's hopeless," he replied, rolling his eyes. "So," he turned to Kun, "What does it say?"  
  
"I don't know if it's because I'm pretty much running on two cups of staff room coffee, and bottle of Gatorade and three cans of Red Bull but I can't understand this." He squints his eyes at the message.  
  
Donghyuck scoffs and snatchs the phone out of his hand, walking away as Ten quips, "If you can't even understand Chinese right now, how are you gonna do that physics test in 2 hours, huh?"  
  
"Stop it Ten, you aren't helping."  
  
-

 

**[2.30pm]**

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** I GET IT NOW

what a lame joke jeno for shame

 

 **[sane #2]** might wanna reevaulate who's lame here

after all it took you over 3 days to figure it out

 

 **[angry pingu]** YEET

 

 **[maple syrup]** go!! to!!!!! class!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **[angry pingu]** uhm excuse ol d man who died n madr u mr kim’s replacement

 

 **[maple syrup]** mr kim did

and im talking to u jeno i can see ur punk ass frm the window of the music hall

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** yeha come back to chem

we’re meant to fail this test together :(((

 

 **[sane]** another test???

 

 **[sane #2]** soz nana

told u that i know my limits, cant do it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **[sane]** biTCH YOU CANT STEP DOEN FRM A TEST HOW MANY TIEMS MUST I TELLBU

 

 **[sane #2]** welp fine

im running

 

 **[maple syrup]** mr taeil the music TA saw u btw

 

 **[sane #2]** running faster

 

-

 

_after school_

  
Yukhei looks over Donghyuck's shoulder as the boy stares at the characters - hoping they'd form Korean letters the more he glares at the screen like in the movies while they wait for the bus to town outside of school.  
  
"He called you a little bitch."

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeno is me if i were chaotic evil :') im too much of a coward to actually skip class to avoid a test but the fact that i sleep during exams makes up for that
> 
> and omf. ,,,,,i have no words concerning the vixx mv fuck
> 
> thank u for reading and stream/watch the mv for vixx's newest comeback Scentist!!


	3. mark is dethroned and cancelled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung learns about the magic that is bodak yellow and mark is dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aHH okay s o i mentionedat the beginning of this shit fest of a fic that errone is goes to a school that uses the british curriculm right???/? i just realised hyung line are too old to be in high school welPPP so lets say that the university that hyungline goes to has a joint campus witht he sixth form college  
> sixth form is the last two years of high school so juniors n seniors??/ and they do a levels so 00 line are juniors and mark n yukhei are seniors yes (you only do 3 / 4 subjects in total for a levels)  
> so that explains why they can see johnny n ten n them ppl when they are in uni
> 
> the school jisung n chenle go to have a different campus (its like next door tho) and they are doing their gcses which is freshman n sophomore year of high school. they are both sophomores, jisung skipped a year (probably fooled the school into thinking he’s older bc of hislong ass self)
> 
> yeah im sorry this is confuse

_a few days later_

  


**[1.26pm]**

**[chat : oh whoa whoa thats no no]**

 

 **[gatorade bb]** guys i have gr8 news!!!!!! !!!1!!!

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** you’re dying? you’re moving to alaska?? chenle is unable to scream anymore due to loss of function in his vocal chords????

 

 **[gatorade bb]** ouch

 

 **[angry pingu]** OUCH

 

 **[sane]** chenle being unable to scream? its good to be optimistic but lets not get ahead of ourselves

 

 **[angry pingu]** ge :((((((((

 

 **[gatorade bb]** okay promtply moving on

i have a new favourite english speaking sunbaenim

@ **maple syrup** you have been dethroned

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]**  canada was ur fav emglish speaking sunbaenim?? wow @o@

 

 **[sane]** what about johcnfiuck

 

 **[gatorade bb]** uhm???

 

 **[sane]** sorry im in history rn almost got caught with my phone

anyway what abt johnny hyung??

 

 **[gatorade bb]**  i dont acknowledge his existence after the Snow Day of 2016

 

 **[angry pingu]**???? what happened

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** johnny hyung pretty much catapulted jisung’s tiny 14y/o self into a huge mountain of snow n he got into shit w his mum for getting his winter coat wet

 

 **[gatorade bb]** i nearly got NEWMOINA

 

 **[sane]** newmoina

 

 **[gatorade bb]**  is that not how u spell it?

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** good LORD

anyway he’s pressed bc he missed out on all of us going to daiso and camping out in the mattress store overnight bc jaehyun hyung’s uncle was the security guard and let us stay

 

 **[angry pingu]** fuck id be pressed too

 

 **[sane]** its been 2 years tho??

 

 **[gatorade bb]** i will never forget.

anwyay there is a new TA frm the university thats helping the eng teacher n stuff bc he actually speaks english

like this school is wack how u gonna have a student help teach english just bc u cant afford actual english speaking teachers

 

 **[sane]** there is a new staff member person???

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** this is news to me

 

 **[sane #2]** you’d know this if yall were awaKE during assembly this morning

 

 **[sane]** bihcn i wasnt asleep

 

 **[sane #2]** i was referring to donghyuck

 **[sane #2]** we know, u werent there

 **[sane #2]** too busy thirsting after the drama teacher we saw u helping Mr Yoo with those boxes even tho ur noodle arms couldnt handle it

 

 **[sane]** STHUT

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** understandable bc that man is a work of art but?? isnt he

het

 

 **[gatorade bb]** i thought u were gonna point our the fact t hat hes like 50

 

 **[sane]** he’s 38 but okay

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** age aint nothin but a number - probably r.kelly

 

 **[sane #2]** isnt a rkelly a paedophile

and how did u know that

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** mork made me watch a history of american rnb with him for 2 hours w bad korean subs

 

 **[gatorade bb]** cna we get back to the matter at hand

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** there’s a new TA??? are they pretty?

 

 **[gatorade bb]** HYUGN

 

 **[sane]** hyugn

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** stfu renjun i saw ur last essay for mr lee’s class you aint slick

 

 **[angry pingu]**  YEET

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** have any of yall seen them in ur classes?

and where’s canada hyung??

 

 **[maple syrup]** i was showing the TA around, he’s in my lit class lol he failed the unit in high school

 

 **[sane]** relatable

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** he??

DAMNIT

 

 **[maple syrup]** oop

 

 **[sane]** a question for the gays : is he pretty

 

 **[sane #2]** you cant ask him that u know his head’s too far up donghyuck’s ass to notice other ppl

 

 **[maple syrup]** ihfruhd OOF

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]**  alas my charm and looks are forever unbeatable

donghyuck the ult visual : 1 tall TA guy : 0

 

 **[sane]** its not a competition??

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** life’s a competition and i am forever winning

excluding the times i am in math or am around god yukhei

 

 **[sane]** WHY do you do math tho

 

 **[sane #2]** why are u saying that like we dont do math with him

 

 **[sane]**  tru

 

 **[gatorade bb]** anyway tall TA guy is my fav eng sunbaenim bc he called the curriculum nonsense, taught us the rap to bodak yellow and let us watch my neighbour totoro w eng dub

sure the american dub is shit but we didnt do work so twas lit

 

 **[maple syrup]** really??? all he does is sleep in literature class

 

 **[sane #2]** apparently he helps in our chem lab lessons @ **batman theme song sans the batman**

 

 **[sane]** not surprised u didnt know u barely go to class

 

 **[sane #2]** i still pass tho so hop off my dick renjun

  


**[maple syrup]** hol up

if u didnt know abt him how u know he tall @ **satan’s sugar baby**

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** you ask too many questions canada

 

-

 

Mark sat in the library staring at a page he’d been on for the past forty minutes, hoping the words would magically start to make sense. _Wow. I never thought I could hate a book as much as I do right now. No wonder Jae hyung nearly cried when we were told that 18th century literature was the first essay topic._

 

“Ah, Canada hyung. You’re going to get wrinkles frowning at that book like that.” Donghyuck swung his bag directly onto the book in front of the frustrated looking senior.

 

He looked up through his thick framed glasses at the grinning boy in front of him and grimaced. “I was reading that Hyuck-ah,” he shoved the obnoxiously fluorescent bag off of his copy of Great Expectations. _Fuck Charles Dickens_ , he muttered under his breath in English.

 

Donghyuck scoffed, “It looked a lot to me like you were attempting to set that book alight with your eyes.” He sat at the table next to the stressed senior and sighed, observing his fatigued posture with pity in his eyes. _Ah, old age has struck the hyungs once again_ , he thinks to himself, remembering the sad, exhausted image of Kun a few days earlier. “Believe it or not Canada, I’m not actually here to be annoying,” he states matter-of-factly.

 

Mark turned to him in disbelief, his words cut short when he notices the artificially flavoured watermelon ice cream Donghyuck held towards him.

 

“I know you’ve been feeling off recently, judging by the way you’ve been swearing at that book for the past 3 days. So here’s a pick me up,” he smiled, observing the shock registering on Mark’s face (and quietly taking pleasure in the sight of pink spreading on his cheeks.)

 

Mark stuttered, “Wo- wow Hyuck, I really appreciate this.” The red-head sat next to him ducked his head at the cheesiness of it all.

 

“Damn,” Mark looked up from the treat held in his hands, “Thanks... bro.”

 

 _Wait._ Mark’s eyes widened after realising what exactly just happened.

 

Donghyuck mentally facepalmed. _Fucking idiot._

 

-

 

“He did what now?” Renjun exclaimed loudly through the speaker of Donghyuck’s phone.

 

Donghyuck flopped backwards onto the bed where his phone lay. “You heard me the first time, repeating it might just kill me via second hand embarrassment.” He huffed, kicking the wall he lay next to in frustration and promptly turned onto his front, gripping his phone like his life depended on it. “I just don’t understand! My gesture was so sweet and my charm is unbelievable, why did he react like that!”

 

Renjun chuckled at his friend’s dramatics. “Whose fault is it that you decided to crush on Earth’s most oblivious person?”

 

“You make it sound like I had a choice,” he whined into the microphone of his phone. continuing to kick the wall until the sound of a fist next to where his head was resonated from the neighbouring room. He sighed loudly, staring at the picture that sat framed on his bedside table of Mark and him on a trip last year to Busan.

 

“You’re looking at that picture, aren’t you? God, I can hear the heart eyes from here.”

 

“Good-bye Huang Renjun.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i guess i decided to say fuck it to platonics im sorry it just happened my markhyuck hoe ass self couldnt help it  
> the english TA is jaehyung from day6 lmao it was actually me to begin with but htat was weird so i was like lets not
> 
> anywayi hope you guys like this chp lol stream and watch the mv for VIXX's Scentist!


	4. donghyuck fan club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mystery identical twin sisters and chenle doesn't know how to conjugate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit : LOL turns out he may actually have a twin sis they are just fraternal womp womp im a fool anywya i had to edit this chp so that the fic would make sense oof

**[9.41am]**

**[chat : oh whoa whoa thats no no]**

 

_**satan’s sugar baby** changed the chat name to **donghyuck’s identical twin sister is not canon !!**_

**[satan’s sugar baby]**!!!!!

news flash : i dont have a identical twin sister pls pass it on to ur close friends (if u have any????), family, cats, dogs

fish @ **sane**

 

 **[gatorade bb]**  I KNRW IT

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** it is 9 in the goddamn morn jign whhy are oyu aware

 

 **[sane]** did u mean awake

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** dId YoU mEaN aWaKe

yes

 

 **[maple syrup]** we are awake bc we are functioning (relatively) members of society

 

 **[sane #2]** speak for urself mister

 

 **[sane]** anYWAY thank u for the consideration

why do ppl think u n ur sister are identical

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]**  ya know

the circumstances that led to such a grave misunderstanding are irrelevant honestly

 

 

 **[maple syrup]** johnny n ten hyung are posting pics of him wearing a dress on twt

but wow look at u, using big boy words

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** shut up canada

 

 **[sane]** brb gotta go make a twt acc

 

 **[gatorade bb]** for those who were not around to experience n witness such a pivotal point in lee donghyuck's life i shall tell the tale

@ **angry pingu** grab the magnifying glass and old timey tape recorder

 

 **[sane #2]** what

 

 **[angry pingu]** [ [ voice note 0.34secs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8NuzNxTjhE)]

 

 **[gatorade bb]** _on a rainy evening in the year of 2014...._

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** imma have to stop u right there

 

 **[sane #2]** wait so hyuck has siblings?? wow u learn smth new everyday

 

 **[angry pingu]** how can u not know that ur friend of 6 year has sibilings

 

 **[sane #2]** i cant remember how old my mum is

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** i feel sorry for them

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** SHUT

go back to sleep u sogg y dishrag

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** anyway

isnt it awfully narcissistic to think we care that much

n isnt the word canon used for celebs n fiction stuff like fandoms

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** why r u such an asshole

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** aw u flatter me

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** anyway to dispute ur horrid argument u stank bean curd

i have one (1) fan

 

 **[sane]** wow hyuck ur creativity concerning insults never fails to amaze me

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** thanks :*

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** UHM WHO

anD TF U MEAN BEAN CURD

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** u may not look the part but ur gym bag’s odours definitely fit the criteria

 

 **[gatorade bb]** truth

 

 **[angry pingu]** we’ve all notice the smell that damned gym bag releases once opened

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** right then,,, back to topic

who would be dumb enough to be duck’s fan

 

 **[maple syrup]** coughs

 

 **[sane #2]** i guess we cant fight a confession now can we

 

 **[maple syrup]** i guess there is not point in tryna deny it

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** my lovable charm and amazing visuals have come out victorious once again what can i say

 

 **[maple syrup]** damn jaemin wasnt wrong abt the whole narcissism thing huh

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** shut up cheestrings its called self love

 

 **[sane]** pretty sure ur just full of urself at this point but go off,,,

 

 **[maple syrup]** donghyuck fan club (1)

_updating…_

donghyuck fan club ↓ (0)

 

 **[angry pingu]** OFF

 

 **[sane]** no chenle,,, its oof

 

 **[gatorade bb]** cheestrings?

 

 **[maple syrup]**  HWO TODL YOU

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** johnny hyung :))))))))))

 

 **[gatorade bb]** chees....strings????

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** long story short mark used to have platinum blonde hair and the bleaching FRIED it

he looked like this mascot for this cheese stick brand in the uk and johnny told me all abt it so

 

 **[angry pingu]** the resemblance is uncanny

 

 **[sane]** where di d u learn a word like uncanny

 

 **[angry pingu]** kun ge

 

 **[sane]**  and here u are, still unable to use slang properly

 

 **[angry pingu]** let me be stupid okay im chinese and i live in korea conjugating is hard and nothing makes sense

 

 **[sane #2]** mood

 

 **[sane]** you’re korean tho

 

 **[sane #2]** your point?

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** right attention on me now babies

speaking of ges, hyungs, all that older brother stuff

hows... yukhei

hyung

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** wouldn’t u like to know

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** CHOKE

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** you first :*

 

 **[sane]** kinky

 

 **[maple syrup]** why the sudden interest in lucas

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** lucas

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** lucas

 

 **[sane #2]** lucas

 

 **[sane]** lucas

 

 **[angry pingu]** lucas

 

 **[gatorade bb]**??

 

 **[angry pingu]** jisung!! u break the chain ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

 

 **[gatorade bb]** :(

 

_the next day_

  
  
"Johnny hyung!"  
  
  
  
Donghyuck ran up to the table in the cafeteria, a usual Monday morning sight presented before him - Kun sleeping on what appeared to be a Math textbook, Ten drinking a Caprisun and Johnny, seated right next to him.  
  
  
  
"John- god I need to work out more - Johnny hyung, could you do me a favour?" He asked as he crouched over the table, attempting to catch his breath.  
  
  
  
"Does it have to do with a certain Mark Lee and his endeavours into the world of dying hair?" Donghyuck's eyes widened, as Johnny smirked while sipping on the (once again) shared Caprisun. "I know. I'm a genius, of course I knew you were going to come back."  
  
  
  
"Just add me to the groupchat. Let me work my magic."  
  
  
  
-

**[chat : donghyuck's identical twin sister is not canon !!]**

  
  
**_satan's sugar baby_** _added_ ** _johnnythesupreme_** _(seo.johnny) to the chat!_  
  
  
  
**_johnnythesupreme_** _changed_ ** _maple syrup_** _'s name to **its gonna be me!** **~**_

 

 **[johnnythesupreme]** my work here is done

 

_**johnnythesupreme** left the chat!_

 

 **[** **its gonna be me!** **~]** you fUCKING TROLL

  
  
**[batman theme song sans the batman]** IM CACKLING  
  
  
  
**[angry pingu]** i dont get this one  
  
  
  
**[batman theme song sans the batman]** justintimberfakeramenhair.jpg

 

 **[angry pingu]** oop there it is

 

 **[** **its  gonna be me!**  **~]** i hate my life.

 

 **[sane #2]** oo punctuation how angsty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! donghyuck doesnt have a twin sister lol its a myth [edit: oops he do]  
>  and yes i added a link to the picture of justin's ramen hair i was too lazy to add it to the actual fic, im sure yall already know what it looks like so  
> yes hello this is shoRT i know but i think imma make short chps so i can update more often welp  
> "what abt ur vixx chatfic" WELP im getting there school is kicking my ass 
> 
> hope u enjoy my horrid humour


	5. 20th century babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark lee ruins lives and jeno is a furry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of drinking!! which is technically illegal but i, as someone who is the same age as 00 line know for sure that drinking is just,, smth teenagers do, even if they arent allowed
> 
> so if that bothers you u might wanna stop reading lmao drinking is as far as i'll go tho
> 
> and OH i changed the formatting it bothered me lmao i will edit the other chps so bare with me uwu  
> edit : nvm this formatting is bothering me even more than the original I AM GOING TO CHANGE IT

**[3.26pm]**

**[chat : donghyuck's identical twin sister is not canon !!]**

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** he makes my uwus go owo

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** in my 5 years of knowing u thats its the most revolting thing i have ever heard you say

and i witnessed you thirsting over sooyoung noona in year 10

i mean,,,, i can understand why but that het shit coming frm u was too much even for me, thr resident het

 

 **[sane #2]** this is a group chat u didnt hear anything

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** your input was neither requested nor valuable

 

 **[angry pingu]** neither??

why is this damn language gettinf harder and hard r (´；ω；｀)

 

 **[gatorade bb]** why did the quality of that sentence deteriorate as it continued

 

 **[angry pingu]** i cabt see throiguh my tears

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** het? you offend me ;(

but yeah that was a dark period for me

 

 **[gatorade bb]** she scared me

 

 **[angry pingu]** she still does fym

u run away when she says hi idk why u using past tense

 

 **[gatorade bb]** shut up u cant even conjugate on a regular basis : <

dont come for me

 

 **[angry pingu]** ;(

stop attacking my low quality korean

 

 **[sane #2]** thirsting over sooyoung noona? more likely than u think

u beint in love w her was sad to watch i odnt know why ur rank 14 y/o self thought u haf a chance

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** my mum knew and was hyping me up so my confidence was sky high

 

 **[sane #2]** oh so yr mum is to blame for ur planet sized ego

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** no thats bc i recognize that i went thru the glow up of the century and my visuals are undefeatable

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** yeri, somewhere : something’s off

 

 **[sane]** why is my son sad

what does owo even mean

who are u indirecting

this isnt twitter goddamnit

 

 **[angry pingu]** yeah what he said

and hey im grown im no one’s child

 

 **[injun]** all i hear is gu gu ga ga

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** @angry pingu shush bb go back to watching your paw patrol reruns

 

 **[angry pingu]** im a classy b*tch i only watch quality content

aka bubble guppies

 

 **[sane #2]** fellas, is it gay to accept chenle as your god?

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** yes

 

 **[sane #2]** great

 

 **[gatorade bb]** i watch paw patrol what are u trying to say

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** he’s calling u ratchet

 

 **[angry pingu]** not what i meant but

if the shoe fits

 

 **[** **its gonna be me!** **~]** @satan’s sugar baby pls dont tell me ur talking about lucas

 

 **[sane #2]** snort

cant believe his english name is lucas

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** well ur in for a ride morkle, destination : disappointment

 

 **[gatorade bb]** poor mark hyung (´ . .̫ . `)

 

 **[ **its gonna be me!**~]** so the only time u wanna respect me is when u give me fake sympathy

 

 **[gatorade bb]** u kNow me so well :’]

 

**[3.27am]**

 

 **[** **its gonna be me!** **~]** did u know those born in 2000 are technically born in the 20th century  
so @ 00 line : suck it

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** imma leave the succing to hyuck okay thx

 

 **[sane #2]** what makes u think u have the right to ruin MY life at 3 in the morning

lets fight

right now

meet me in ur front yard

 

 **[** **its gonna be me!** **~]** uhm? u cant fight facts

 

 **[sane #2]** says WHO

 

 **[** **its gonna be me!** **~]** says google

 

 **[sane #2]** im going to fly to america and fight google

who’s w me

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** ooo fight i want in

and @batman theme song sans the batman UHM bitch can u not

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** I Only Speak Fax, No Printer

 

 **[angry pingu]** i wanna watch mark got beat up by jeno hyung

 

 **[** **its gonna be me!** **~]** go to sleep youre 5

and why do u assume i would lose

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** are u sure u wanna ask that question

 

 **[** **its gonna be me!** **~]** acutlaly yes

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** final answer?

 

 **[sane #2]** jfc jaemin this isnt a game show

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** you are the weakest link, GOODBYE

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** i just caught up and breaking news : mark, life ruiner, lee is cancelledt

you’ve gon e too far with your dumb facts i cant trust anyone now

 

 **[sane #2]** rt

this is like the time he told us that vanilla flavouring n essence isnt ACTUALLY vanilla

 

 **[batman theme song sans the batman]** or when he told us the truth abt otters

 

 **[sane #2]** with videos anf everything smh

im still scarred

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** _shame on you mark lee, shame on you_

 

 **[** **its gonna be me!**~] did u ask johnny how to write that in eng

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** im not as bad at english as u think i am

i mean

i srsly suck at it but still

 

 **[sane #2]** rt

 

 **[sane]** this still isnt twitter

 

 **[satan’s sugar baby]** go to sleep grandpa

 

 

**[4.00pm]**

 

_chat name was reset!_

_update : nickname character limit set to 5!_

 

 **[satan]** yOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING MR

 

 **[sane ]** so they gon just chop our nicknames! In half!

 

 **[sane]** at least donghyuck’s is still accurate

 

 **[satan]** shut

 

 **[gator]** lmao

grr snap snap

 

 **[angry]** ur such a child jisung :’)

 

 **[gator]** says the person who ranted about uma’s lack of screen time on bubble guppies when we were both meant to be completing a bio test

 

 **[angry]** shut

 

 **[its g]** they count spaces too?

what type of bullshit

 

 **[batma]** the fuck is batma meant to be

 

 **[satan]** sounds like the name of an old granny from eastern europe that sells scones on a street corner

 

 **[batma]** that was oddly specific

 

 **[sane ]** someone pls change the nicknames im getting physically sick looking at them

 

 **[sane]** im pretty sure thats just the week old pizza u decided to eat last night along w warm beer stolen frm under ur older sister’s bed

 

 **[sane ]** can we not dwell on my past mistakes

 

 **[satan]** u were drinking

without me

im hurt

 

 **[angry]** ur all going to be alcoholics

 

 **[satan]** i prefer the words wine mom thank u very much

 

 **[gator]** alcoholism is better than being a crackhead

 

 **[its g]** true

look what happened to taeyong hyung

 

 **[gator]** taeyong hyung is a crackhead???????

 

 **[its g]** no he just looks like one

 

 **[angry]** omf my heart nearly broke

mark, life ruiner, lee back at it again

 

 **[sane ]** ok back to topic

someone change the nicknames nyaow

 

 **[batma]** okay calm down furry

 

 

_**batma** changed their nickname to **jaem**_

_**jaem** changed **its g’** s nickname to **morky**_

_**jaem** changed **sane** ’s nickname to **injun**_

_**jaem** changed **sane** 's nickname to **jeno**_

_**jaem** changed **satan** ’s nickname to **dick**_

_**jaem** changed **angry’** s nickname to **child**_

_**jaem** changed **gator** ’s nickname to **baby**_

 

 

 **[dick]** i would like to sue

how come everyone got nickname s that relate to their actual names

 

 **[morky]** urs makes sense tho

 

 **[dick]** HO w

 

 **[jaem]** donghyuck - hyuck = dong

dong in english = dick

your nickname = dick

 

 **[jeno]** thats smart !!

surely jaemin didnt think of that

 

 **[jaem]** i wnat to be offended but i have no right grr

johnny hyung came up w it

 

_**dick** added **johnnythesupreme** to the chat! _

 

 **[dick]** johnny how dare u!!!!!

why would u turn on me like this

your fav dongsaeng

and w my mortal enemy too

 

 **[jaem]** ouch

 

 **[johnnythesupreme]** all is fair in love and war

 

_**johnnythesupreme** left the chat! _

 

 **[child]** thats cold

and y is this my nickname im not a child

 

 **[injun]** shut up youre 5

 

 **[dick]** this slander against hasnt been resolved yet!!

why didnt u just use hyuck instead

 

 **[jaem]** bc ew

 

 **[jeno]** lol h(yuck)

 

_**morky** changed **dick** ’s nickname to **ducky**! _

 

 **[ducky]** oh my god

 

 **[child]** quack quack

 

 **[jeno]** ehat the fuck chenle im

 

 **[ducky]** this is third grade all over again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for my shit humour ehe i swear i love taeyong he's precious i dont really mean it when i say that he looks like a crackhead lmao
> 
> if you guys prefer the formatting i used before please say so~ 
> 
> i dont use twt or ig that often but u can follow me if ya want ehe let's cry abt markhyuck together, both are @softjaehwany :))


	6. dreamies sleepover gone wrong part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno is covered in mystery white powder and jisung is bad at hiding

**[6.30pm]**

**[ chat ]**

 

 **[ducky]** the lack of chat nam e is giving me anxiety

 

 **[jeno]** then change it?????

 

 **[ducky]** as much as i am the ultimate creative, a inspirational genius

chat na mes are not m y firte

 

 **[injun]** neither is correct spellling or spacing

 

 **[jaem]** renjun i love u, my platonic soulmate

and i hate to say this ya know, fucking w ur vibe

 

 **[jeno]** what VIBE

are u day drinking without me??

 

 **[jaem]** no im not alcoholic like u

what im tryna say renjunnie dearest

u spelt spelling with an extra letter (    u _ u )

 

 **[ducky]** how come i didnt notice that

 

 **[injun]** bc you’re illiterate

 

 **[jeno]** rt

 

 **[baby]** idiot hyungs + renjun hyung and chenle

 

 **[jeno]** ouch

only IM allowed to acknowledge my stupidity

 

 **[ducky]** how come renjun isnt included he can t spell for shit

 

 **[baby]** bc he seems _testy_ today n im not tryna get killed

anyway i wanted to invite u guys to my place for a sleepover, my parents are gon be out for the weeknd n they said u all could come

 

 **[jeno]** i dont know why u fight ur u/n so much u sounded so smol

 

 **[ducky]** all i hear is gugu gaga

 

 **[child]** no u guys dont heard anything its a text message

 

 **[ducky]** u can talk to me when u learn how to conjugate

 

 **[child]** :(((((

 

 **[injun]** N E WAYS

i can make it,, i’ll bring snacks

 

 **[baby]** i would say thats okay,,,,

but there is no such thing as too many snacks so bRING ‘EM

 

 **[ducky]** jaemin n i can make it we got nothing to do

 

 **[jaem]** u know, for all u know i could be busy

just bc you dont have a social ife doesnt me an i dont

 

 **[jeno]** but listen,,,,, you dont

we ur only friends b ion know what u trying to say

but yeah i cn make it

 

 **[baby]** so what are u hyungs gonna bring

 

 **[jaem]** uhhhhh myself

 

 **[baby]** uhhhhh wrong answer

 

 **[jeno]** al i have to offer is carrot sticks and dip okay my mum is on this tip of me being healthy since football season is soon

 

 **[baby]** no longer taking offers from jeno hyung

 

 **[baby]** yall can come over straight after schoo l so pack an overnight bag or whatever we can leave it in jungwoo hyung’s car

 

 **[child]** why jungwoo hyung?

 

 **[baby]** he drives me to n frm school since we live near one another

 

 **[ducky]** uhm u arent getting shit frm me

if anything u should be bringing me shit it is my bday after al

i know u love me jisung but a surprise bday sleepover wowow i never expected this uwu

 

 **[baby]** uhhh

3 things

one, ur bday was a week ago

two, u hate surprises

three, its my house fuck ur bday

 

 **[mork]** boy u are 5 why are u swearing

 

 **[jeno]** donghyuck on his bday @ jisung : so you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift

 

 **[mork]** did he actually say that

 

 **[baby]** YES

first in english then in korean

 

 **[injun]**  iconic :’)

 

 **[mork]** god

anyway i wont be able to be there on time i gotta study for computer studies with lucas

 

 **[jeno]** lucas :’) never gets old

 

 **[ducky]** WHAT

are you, mark life ruiner lee, trying to tell me that you’re spending time with god yukhei WITHOUT ME

 

 **[mork]** i wouldnt call it spending time w him

 

 **[jaem]** thats exactly what hes tryna say hyuck

 

 **[injun]** shidvhd JAEMin stop tryna stir the pot

 **(** fuck it up jaemin fuck it up)

 

 **[jaem]** stirring of the pot intensifies

 

 **[child]**  OOF

 

 **[injun]** u got it right this time im proud

 

 **[child]**  shut

 

 **[ducky]** i cant believe u would betray me like this mork le

 

 **[mork]** dude if ur so hurt abt it then come over once u get to jisung’s

im literally next door

 

 **[ducky]** that is a stupid suggestion

i always look crusty after school i cant look crusty in the presnce of go d yukhei

 

 **[mork]** u look good??? almost all the time

 

 **[ducky]** i cant trust u, you told me i look good with firetruck red hair

 

 **[mork]** u did tho??????

 

 **[ducky]** jeno n jaemin sang the chorus to taeyong hyung’s shitty mixtape every time they saw me

 

 **[jeno]**  WOO WOO WOO WOO

 

 **[jaem]** _FIRETRUCK_

 

 **[baby]** moving on, meet me by the parking lot on the uni side after schoo l tmrw

 

 **[child]** what does jungwoo hyung’s car look like?

 

 **[baby]** its a busted af grey kia picanto

 

 **[jaem]** how on earth are 6 ppl + jungwoo hyung gon fit in a KIA PICANTO JISUNG

 

 **[baby]** idk someones riding on the roof i guess i didnt think this thru

i dont care tbf im sitting in the fromt anyway

 

 **[jeno]** RITGH well i have soccer prac for an hour so i’ll meet u guys there

 

 **[injun]** can i catch a ride w u then, i gotta finish history project

 

 **[jeno]** sure ting,, remind me to take car keys in the morning then lmao

 

 **[ducky]** u know how to drive?????

 

 **[jaem]** according to the law, yes

practically speakin, not at all

 

 **[jeno]** its better thn nothing

 

 **[child]** so i guess i’ll be sitting in the middle

 

 **[jaem]** its a picanto, even ur tiny ass wont fit in the middle

u can sit on my lap is oka

 

 **[ducky]** good bc chenle’s bony ass aint gonna impale MY thighs

 

 **[child]** IS IT MY FAULT THAT IM SKINNY

 

 **[injun]** no shush bb he just hating

ur booty is beautiful

 

 **[jeno]** uve been spending a ot of time w jaeminif you’re out here saying shit lik ethat

 

 **[child]** thanks?

 

 **[injun]** wow, this is what i get when im trying to be a wholesome friend

 

 **[jaem]** ur doing great sweetie

 

 **[baby]** okay soft hours were never open so stop  

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE ASSHOLES

 

 **[jaem]** he calling u a square @mork

 

 **[baby]** sHUT

 

-

 

_The next day_

 

**[6.28pm]**

**[ chat ]**

**_mork_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_hep im bord_ **

**[mork]** hep im bord

**[ducky]** arent u meant to be studying rn

**[mork]** lucas is on the phone w sm1 rn so im bored

studying is fizzing my brain

what are u guys doing

**[ducky]**  HA u see, thats why i dont study

we’re playing hide and seek

**[mork]** then arent u meant to be hiding? or seeking idk

**[ducky]** i thought that u’d be questioning the fact that we are playing hide and seek but oke

im too tired to find a hiding place in this big ass hous e so i got myself caught n am trailing around after chenle

**[mork]** let urself get caught? sounds more like uare shit at hiding

 

 **[ducky]** uhm NO it was on purpose u ass >:(

anyway since im such a wonderfully gracious god i’ll commentate for u

ur welc

**[mork]** wow okay ure definitely the only person i know who would say no prob before the person thanks you

**[ducky]** MOVING ON

okay so we’re in jisung’s foyer?? idk rich ppl houses are complicated

ya know,, snooping around and shit

chenle is being distracted by this jar of old richppl candy an JHUDUOWB OOF

**[mork]**???? whats going on

**[ducky]** Okayd  so im runn ing afte r chenule rn shit

we heard sidenn footsteps damn.,, sounded like jaemin waas practicing his 100m sprint for sports day

hE blaSSTS past us and chenle starst furiously running

i gave up after the first 5 m

im on my knees, wheezing after the over extertion of my body

and on my left, skinny legs and all

**[mork]** OH MY GOD

**[ducky]** is jisung

**[mork]** NO

**[ducky]** rather conspicuously pressed against the wall

like he tryna become one with the ugly wallpaper

**[mork]** iMYDUJNG  sdhjdhdj

how did chenle not notice????

**[ducky]** he’s pretty much blind

he mistook taeyong hyung for sooyoung noona when for some reasob??? taeyong hyung left the chemistry lab w a wig on

**[mork]** ahh precious chenle :’)

**[ducky]** GOD so i caught up with chenle and we’re outside jisung’s room

**[mork]** is jisung still melding into the wall?

**[ducky]** yep

anyway we outside a doorm,, ready to scope that shit out

suddenly on the other side of the halway we heard a shelf breaking or smth

**[mork]** so u guys are out here trying to wreck jisung’s house

before i get there smh

**[ducky]** LISTEN MARK DO U WANT ME TO TELL U WHATS HAPPENING OR NOT

**[mork]** i’ll actually take the not for 300

 **[mork]** i have tog et back to studying now

**[ducky]** okay  but consider this

 **[ducky]** im not going to repeatthis for u when u get hhere

 **[ducky]** so u better LISTEN UP

**[mork]** STOP

**[ducky]** MOVING ON

we heard a sheld falling n some tshit

n bc im a great friend i get chenle’s dumb ass to go the opposite direction

 i open the door

jaemin just zooms past AGAin and the sight that i am greeted with

 

 **[mork]** listen i dont care

**[ducky]** the fact that u replied says otherwise buut go off

anyway

i find jeno, spraweled out o the flloor of what seems to be jisung’s older brother’s bathroom

**[mork]** jisung’s brother has his own room????

**[ducky]** “lIsTeN i DoNt cArE” u fake

and YES apparently so

so jeno is on the floor

covered in what i am going to assume is baby powder bc i’d rather not say what i initially thught

**[mork]** say it

**[ducky]** i tjumped to thinking that jisung’s bro deals cocaine

**[baby]** tbh i myself dont know what that mystery powder is

**[mork]** arent u meant to be hiding

**[baby]** jeno hyung (obviously) got caught first so we waiting for him to wash whatever it is thats on him off so he can seek

**[jaem]** he looked like he was coming for jaehyun’s titl ee of The Palest Twink(™)

**[jeno]** STFU you’re the one who threw the bucket at me when u heard footsteps

I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER

**[baby]** so u saw a bucket of white powder and decided to throw it at jeno??

**[jaem]** i dont know y ur acting like im a bad person

YOUR brother is the one w a fucking bucket of what could be icing sugar or cocaine in his goddamn bathroom

**[baby]** tru

**[jeno]** HYUCK where are u we are starting again in jisung’s basement

**[mork]** you guys are all in the same house y u texting

**[baby]** ur the one who came to the chat bc ur bored tf

**[jeno]** yeah + jisung’s house is big i think im lost

**[baby]** yeah im pretty sure w e are al in opposite ends of this house

**[ducky]** im still convinced that jisung’s grandma’s dog haunts teh basement so no thanks

im not playing bc im being a commentator DUH

**[baby]** where are you??

**[ducky]** in ur mom’s bathtub

**[baby]** standard

**[jeno]** how r u going to commentate from the bathtub

**[ducky]** idk i’ll figure it out hop off my dick

 

**[7.42pm]**

 

 **[mork]** damn what happened to the commentation

**[ducky]** y are u so needy

we taking a break, jeno’s round went by too quickly and he nearly injured jisung when he rugby tackled him next to the stair banister

then jaemin was pulling his sonic bullshit, i blink and his round is over

**[mork]** is that why i could hear chenle’s screaming frm my house

**[ducky]** no that was because he was found first, jaemin caught him when he was still trying to find a place to hide

 

 **[child]** in my defense, jaemin hyung ran towards me like he was running track practice and i was the finish line

 

 **[jaem]**  :*

 

 **[ducky]** arent u meant to be seeking

 

 **[child]** arent u meant to be hiding

 

 **[mork]** where’s renjun tho u guys havent mentioned him

 

 **[ducky]** im sure he hasnt been found since like,,, the first game

 

 **[mork]** im pretty sure he gon be pissed off bc of that

 

 **[ducky]** we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it

anyway continuing w my commentary

 

 **[mork]** this is real unnecessary

 

 **[ducky]** says the person who was inquiring abt where we were smh

 

 **[mork]** you got me there

 

 **[ducky]** movin G ON

right so im w chenle now, we’ve played ike,, 2 rounds but im sure that we know this place inside out n shit

OOF think he heard footsteps

hshfggyeb EWWWWWWW

 

 

**[8.05pm]**

 

 

 **[mork]** dont leave a bitch hanging !!

 

 **[ducky]** i have been TRICKED

anD BITHC WHEN ARE U GETTING HERE

 

 **[mork]** we got distracted and played super marios bros but we back on track

i’ll be there in 30mins

 

 **[ducky]** sigh sigh

at this rate ur gonna get here tmrw

 

 **[mork]** JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

 

 **[ducky]** damn okay

i was unwilling led to the cursedt basement

chenle swore on “jisung’s grandma dog” that he saw renjun here when they regrouped

 

 **[mork]** does chenle know that one) tht dog is dead and two) he;s missing a whole syllable in that sentence

now it looks like jisungs dog is just real old

 

 **[ducky]** thats not the POINT u knob

anyway yeah tldl (too long; donghyuck’s lazy) we found renjun,,, he isnt very happy

 

 **[injun]** NO SHIT

I CANT BELIEVE NUTS FOR BRAINS FOUND ME

 

 **[child]** HEY

WHAT HAPPENED TO BEINGA WHOLESOME FRIEND

 

 **[ducky]** omf im going to Throttle this child he texted tha setence and screamed it at renjun

 

 **[baby]** y did i hear chenle scream

 

 **[ducky]** he tryna pick a fight w renjun

 

 **[jaem]** ladies ladies you’re both beautiful

 

 **[baby]** JAEmin hyung this is NOT the time

 

 **[injun]** lETS gets regroup and play again

 

 **[ducky]** sighsigh FINE imma play this time

bye mork le

 

 **[mork]** so ur just gonna leave me

 

 

**[8.18pm]**

 

 

 **[mork]** wow

 

-

 

“You guys are such assholes! Are you seriously trying to tell me that you couldn’t find me?” Renjun huffed, arms folded as he sat on the musty sofa placed by the wall of Jisung’s basement. “I even watched you guys regroup by the door, how did you not notice I wasn’t there?”

 

Jisung raised his hand, eyes scanning his hyungs around him as he sat, legs criss crossed, on the floor. “I for one, would like to clarify that I wouldn’t notice if my own mum has disappeared for 3 days, since I admitedlyhave the memory of a goldfish.”

 

Donghyuck scoffed. “It’s not because you have shit memory ‘Sung-ah, its because your house is fucking huge,” he snarked in response, dramatically flipping his fringe out of his eyes.

“Don’t forget me when you’re famous Jisung.”

 

“Good lord Hyuck, can’t you take a break from being dramatic,” Jeno flopped onto the couch opposite Renjun, kicking Donghyuck aside in the process. The couch unhealthily creaked, startling the still seething dark haired boy in front of him. Jaemin just sniggered, quietly observing the chaos that was Donghyuck and Jeno arguing, while Chenle began to doze off, much to Jisung’s amazement, leaning on the couch that seated the same very aggressive hyungs - seemingly unaware of the painful sounding sounds the metal bones of the sofa emitted.

 

“ALRIGHT HYUNGS,” the grey haired maknae exclaimed, clearly tired of his friends’ antics. “Lets just play one last game before Mark comes. Renjun hyung,” He turned to the annoyed figure, “You will seek since technically you were the first to be found this round. Even though its only your first one. Oops.”

 

“Wow, I’m really feeling the love today. It’s fine. I’ll do it,” he grumbled under his breath.

 

 _Ouch,_ Jisung thought. _Testy._

 

Everyone got into position to run out and Renjun faced the wall, getting to count.

 

“1, 2, 3, 4…” As his countdown continued, everyone hastily left the basement and hid.

 

“Ready or not, here I come!”

 

Every light in the house suddenly switched off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAA this was long asf but i was washing dishe s and d i got a sudden bout of inspiration :’) i kid, i pissed my older sister off by throwing a wet spaghetti noodle at her and it webnt down her shirt so she chased after me and i was Fearing For My Life al night nice  
> formatting is a PAIN AH I WILL FIX IT i promise
> 
> anyway HOHO what happens next wow im adding plot? what a turn of events fufufu  
> yes i hope u guys enjoy this! i will update again SOON


	7. dreamies sleepover gone wrong part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dun

 

**[8.25pm]**

**[ chat ]**

 

 _new chat created by_ **_baby_ ** _(pwark.jisung)!_

 

 _chat name set to_ **_pararenjun activity_ ** _!_

 

 **_baby_ ** _added_ **_child_ ** _(presidentzhong),_ **_jaem_ ** _(ohnanajaemin),_ **_jeno_ ** _(thebestlee.jeno) and_ **_ducky_ ** _(lee.dhyuck) to the chat!_

 

 **[ducky]** chat name - how uncreative

 

 **[baby]** THE HOUSE HAS BEEN PLUNGED INTO DARKNESS THERE IS NO TIME FOR CREAVITIV Y

 

 **[jeno]** guys what on eARTH IS GOING ON

 **[jeno]** u live in a rich neighbourhood u arent meant to have blackouts

 

 **[ducky]** KEPC back at it again guys

 

 **[jaem]** damn this doesnt even happen at jeno’s house n he live in the hood

 

 **[jeno]** WHAT DO YOU MEAN

 **[jeno]** MY NEIGHBOURHOOD IS FULL OF GRANNIES

 

 **[jaem]** uh we all watched black panther

 **[jaem]** we know what them old ladies are capable of

 **[jaem]** they probably running a drug syndicate

 

 **[child]** for real tho what is going on

 

 **[baby]** i think renjun hyung SNAPPED

 

 **[child]** where are u guys???

 

 **[baby]** this is my own home and i dont even know

 **[baby]** i just know that we’re most likely all on opposite ends of this place

 

 **[ducky]** goddamnit jisung u just had to be rich smh :/

 

 **[jaem]** u lov e this house don’t act all brand new

 

-

 

 _Shit._ Chenle thought to himself, as he shuffled to conceal himself from his hiding place - the top of Jisung’s mother’s glass cabinet. Every time he moved, even a little bit, the precious china and trophies jiggled, causing the brunette boy to panic, breathing heavily like he were the main protagonist in a horror movie.

 

 

  * **_**_baby (pwark.jisung)_** _to_ ** _child (presidentzhong)_**_**



 

 

 **[baby]** hyung look to your left!!

 **[baby]** and stop BREATHING SO LOUD

 **[baby]** even mark hyung wil be able to hear u at this point

 

 **[child]** im PANICKING

 

 **[baby]** no one TOLD you to climb on my mum’s cabinet

 

 **[child]** can we not do this rn im abt to shit myself

 

 **[baby]** y are u so useless hyung

 

Chenle locked his phone after seeing the text, slowly turning his head towards the end of the corridor. _What do you want from me!,_ he mouthed at Jisung, who in all his bare legged glory, was “hidden” by the large planter that sat under a large family portrait. _Tsk. Rich families._

 

Jisung moved to whisper something but abruptly stopped at the sound of footsteps creeping their way up to the floor the two youngest hid. Chenle began to writh around, attempting to move from his spot as it was in direct view of the top of the staircase (and would prove to be hard to subtly creep down from once, _if,_ whoever was climbing up managed to miss him.)

 

 _Oh shit!_ Jisung thought to himself as the footsteps increased in volume and Chenle’s poor attempts to conceal himself intensified. And like a movie, Jisung watched from the fake planter,  the tragedy that was his hyung’s bad luck unfold in front of him.

 

-

 

**[8.42pm]**

**[ chat : pararenjun activity ]**

 

 **[ducky]** uhmmM WHAT WAS THAT

 

 **[jeno]** you heard it too????

 

-

 

Chenle let out a dolphin like scream as he fell off the top of the cabinet, a result of him miscalculating how much space he had to roll over. Jisung flinched in horror as he watched his fellow hider quietly groan in pain, squating down to further conceal himself as the footsteps fastened in pace up the suddenly terrifying staircase.

 

The boy’s movements on the floor suddenly ceased as he watched a shadow loom above him, breath bated and eyes rapidly moving in attempts to make sense of the several dark shadows around him. He slowly turned towards the figure behind him, smiling sheepishly, “Renjun-ge?”

 

Terrified of what was to become of his friend, Jisung slapped his hands together, feverishly enacting his own version of praying. _Dear Big Guy, listen. I know I made fun of you that one time I walked into Mark hyung’s room while he was praying. I get that. But you have to understand that it is my job to clown him whenever I can. But I’m sorry. Back on topic, could you real quick expel whatever demon seems to have taken over Renjun hyung because I think Chenle is five seconds from dying and my mum hates it when the carpets get stained plus I-_

 

His prayers were suddenly interrupted by the sound of Chenle screaming and whining “Ouch hyung, that hurts!” as he and Renjun made their way down the stairs to lord knows where. Dumbfounded and still slightly scared for his life, the short and hoodie clad boy moved from his “excellent” hiding spot and grabbed his phone from his pockets, scrambling across the corridor and opening the first door he came across.

 

**[8.52pm]**

**[ chat : pararenjun activity ]**

 

 **_baby_ ** _removed_ **_child_ ** _from the chat!_

 

 **[baby]** president zhong was lost in battle :’(

 **[baby]** i watched it with my OWN TWO EYES

 

 **[jeno]** GASP

 

 **[jaem]** you poor child smh

 

 **[ducky]** so does this mean that renjun is possessed or smth

 

 **[baby]** yep

 **[baby]** i tried praying but it didnt work

 **[baby]** i think at one point renjun hyung has his foot on chenle’s chest while he half hung off the stair bannister but who knows for sure

 **[baby]** i was too busy speaking to my inner christian

 

 **[jaem]** ofc prayers didnt work u ass

 **[jaem]** after all those times u made fun of mark

 **[jaem]** god probably has ur number blocked

 

 **[jeno]** true

 

 **[baby]** i mean i tried to explain myself, i even said sorry

 

 **[jaem]** just saying sorry wont make up for your sins jisung

 

 **[ducky]** can we pls get back to the matter at hand

 **[ducky]** renjun is possessed and the only person who could possibyl get rid of it is next door studying with the hottest man alive

 

 **[jaem]** im in the same house as u tho?

 

 **[ducky]** sdhihjhjhjh NOT YOU U ASS

 **[ducky]** god yukhei

 

 **[jeno]** oh my god can u guys stop

 

-

 

Jeno ran his hand through his hair, frustrated at the fools he calls his friends. He looked again to the door of what could be Jisung’s mother’s shoe closet (if he is in the main bedroom like he guessed when he initially ran through the door), hearing the same repetitive ticking noise that suspiciously sounded like the tip tap of an iPhone keyboard. However being the crybaby that he was, he refused to investigate in fear of ending up in tears from being frightened.

 

Stretching his arms, he yawned silently, simultaneously keeping his eyes on the suspicious looking door that continued to emit tip tapping noises.

 

 

  * **_**_jeno (thebestlee.jeno)_** _to_ ** _jaem (ohnanajaemin)_**_**



 

 

 **[jeno]** where in this house do u think u are

 

 **[jaem]** judging by the stiletto thats abt to pierce me in the ass

 **[jaem]** jisung’s mum’s shoe closet

 **[jaem]** or maybe his older brother does drag i dont judge

 

Jeno scoffed at his phone, locking it and making his way to the noisy door. “Jaemin, what on earth are you doing on Discord when our lives are at risk?” he said, sticking his head through the door and attempting to glare at the otherwise preoccupied boy sat in front of what seemed to be shoe boxes.

 

Said boy clutched his shirt as if in pain, “Can you try to not give me a heart attack! You caught me off guard, thought Renjun came to retrieve my soul.”

 

“Ha,” Jeno muttered, attempting to make space in the shoe filled room. “Even if soul retrieving were to happen, there would be nothing to take.” He sat down on a pile of boxes, watching over Jaemin’s shoulder as he argued with full.pettyalchemist about whether the first FMA OP was the best one (it is).

 

Jaemin, deciding to ignore the jab made at his humanity, inquistively tilted his head and turned towards the bemused boy behind him. “How did you know I was on Discord?”

 

“I can recognise that rhythmic but angry tapping from a mile away. Those sounds haunted me during our math exam last year.”

 

“Aw bae, you know me so well,” Jaemin squealed and slapped the disgruntled Jeno on the arm playfully. “Anyway you can’t blame me. you knew that I had started studying 3 months prior. Plus you are the one who stupidly suggested we have a sleepover the day before the exam.”

 

“Okay but who studies 3 months before an exam?” Jeno asked incredulously as he mindlessly kicked the boxes in front of them. Jaemin shrugs in response. clearly uninterested in the conversation.

 

“I suck at math and I wasn’t about to fail with my parents constantly on my ass about getting good grades-” Jeno suddenly flinched at the sound of footsteps outside the closet door. He presses his index finger against Jaemin’s pursed lips and motions to the door with his head.

 

 _There is someone outside the door!!_ Jeno types up on his phone and shows it to Jaemin, his finger pointing violently at the lowly lit screen. Jaemin rolls his eyes, oblivious to the apparent “danger” that awaits the two outside the safety of a closet filled to the brim with heels. Jeno rised from his throne of shoe boxes and made his way to the door, trying his best to tip toe around the boxes, throwing it open and launching himself out into the hallway.

 

-

 

**[ 9.15pm ]**

**[ chat : pararenjun activity ]**

 

 **[baby]** did one of u gys just break smth

 

 **[jaem]** sorrryt was running aw ay jeno i s dea dithink gott s go AFST

 

 **[jeno]** im not dead

 **[jeno]** i barely survived thp om f

 

 **[jaem]** how did u survive?????

 

 **[jeno]** it wasnt renjun

 

-

 

Donghyuck aimlessly wandered around the large home, trying to make his way through the maze of hallways and silently wondering when on earth Mark would turn up. Ears pricked at the sound of two voices from inside a bedroom door. Assuming that it wasn’t Renjun, he slowly edged into the room, only to find nothing.

 

“ _Okay, but who studies 3 months before an exam?”_

 

The sweater clad boy quietly let out a breath of relief, recognising the bickering to be from Jeno and Jaemin (who had had this exact argument 2 weeks ago. And when they exited their math exam a year prior.) He walked towards the closet door, gripping onto the doorknob lightly.

 

Suddenly the door flew open, Jeno barrelling towards him and Jaemin stealthily blasting out and into the corridor. He finds himself on the floor, instinctually fighting with the boy on top of him - who appeared to be unaware that he in fact was not Renjun. “Jeno, what the fuck!” He groaned under him, “Get the fu-” He is silenced by the sound of footsteps approaching the commotion.

 

Jeno jumps up and enters the closet once again, leaving Donghyuck to fend for himself, the latter gaping at the closed door behind him.

 

-

 

**[ 9.20 pm ]**

**[ chat : pararenjun activity ]**

 

 **[baby]** omf so u LEFT HIM THERE

 

 **[jaem]** top 10 anime betrayals

 

 **[jeno]** UHM JAEMIN

 **[jeno]** u cant say shit u left me too]

 

 **[jaem]** yeah but we arent talking abt that now

 **[jaem]** use ur context clues

 

 **_baby_ ** _removed_ **_ducky_ ** _from the chat!_

 **_baby_ ** _changed_ **_jaem_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_snek_ ** _!_

 

 **[snek]** i wanna be offended but i dont have the right

 

-

 

Mark rose from his position on the floor - spread eagle amongst sheets of notes and open reference books and tilted his head, turning to Yukhei who sat at his desk, snoring lightly into a textbook page on RAM and ROM. He got up and shook the sleeping boy awake, “Hey Lucas. Lucas? Lucas!”

 

Mark cringed at the string of drool that connected Yukhei’s cheek to the now soggy page as the boy rose. “We can stop studying now if you want.”

 

Rather unflatteringly, Yukhei got out of his seat, yawning and walking towards his bag sat at the edge of Mark’s bed. “Nah dude, it’s chill. I have to process this information somehow,” he states, scratching the back of his neck, “Even if it means using the textbook as a pillow.”

 

Mark chuckled and shook his head. “No, I just asked because I actually need to go-” He stopped abruptly at the sound of what seemed to be screams coming from Jisung’s house. Frantically, he ran to his bedroom window, peeping out, only to be met with darkness.

 

“When did the lights go out next door?” Mark wondered to himself.

 

Yukhei walked up behind him, spotting the dark house next door. “Oh that? That happened like, an hour ago. I thought you knew lol.” Mark looked at him in shock, both because he had failed to mention it and the fact that he actually said lol out loud.

 

-

 

**[ 9:23pm ]**

**[ chat : hep im bord ]**

 

 **[mork]** guys what on earth is going on???

 **[mork]** guys?????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the thing is,, i already have a 20min long voice note w the plot i have no clue why it took me so long to write this lol im SORRY
> 
> i will add the ext and last part soon soon!! i have an organic chem test to write now byebye


	8. dreamies sleepover gone wrong part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all is well. relatively

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for taking so long w this  
> author dude stop stalling and update challenge failed

Mark scratched the back of his neck in confusion, peering out the window towards the dark house next door. “Weird, no one is replying or has seen my message.”

 

Yukhei yawned from his position on Mark’s bed, head perched on top of his makeshift pillow consisting of a Ryan plush toy and an Advanced Math textbook to add height. “Maybe they’re sleeping or something?” He mumbled into the open textbook that lay atop his forehead.

 

Rolling his eyes at the mere thought of people like Chenle and Donghyuck going to bed before 2AM, Mark ran his hand through his newly dyed black cropped hair, scrunching up his nose as he thought about what to next. He looked around him - Yukhei dozing off into his notes (again), papers scattered all over the small room, postit notes reminding him to take his supplements (he needs to get his life in check) and varying chocolate bar wrappers nestled in between the spaces not covered by school notes. He worriedly ran his hands through his hair again, sighing as he looked once again at the dark house his friends were currently in.

 

“Dude, should I call Jungwoo hyung or something?” Yukhei shot up at the mention of their senior who he had met at a cafe near the university side of their campus. 

 

He furiously shook his head, “No no no no. You cannot call Jungwoo hyung when I’m here with paper folds imprinted onto my face, smelling like desperation and straight ass.” Mark barked out a laugh at his friend’s sudden outburst.

 

“Well, as much as I’m glad that you’re finally addressing your body odour issues, I can’t think of any other solution.” Mark retorted while attempting to make the mess on his desk seem a bit more cohesive. “If there so happens to be a murderer in that house, we need someone who won’t freeze up when calling the cops,” referring to himself and his fear of phone calls, “or scream and charge towards the danger,” gesturing to Yukhei who had no sense of tact on a good day.

“Like an adult.”

 

“Bro, the closest you can get to an adult that isn’t anyone’s parent is the Music TA Taeil and Johnny.”

 

“Well Donghyuck poured apple juice on Taeil’s sheet paper last Tuesday to get out of choir and now Sir gives me weird looks in the hallway since I’m unfortunately associated with him. And Johnny still drinks Capri-suns spiked with vodka so we’re pretty much out of options.” Mark shook his head at the lack of responsible older people in his life.

 

Yukhei gathered his things, haphazardly stuffing sheets of equations and code into his rugged backpack. “Why don’t we go ourselves then? I doubt there is anything going on and plus,” He turned to the younger, grinning, “I’m sure I could fight any bad guys off.”

 

Mark snorted, the mere thought of Yukhei being in a fight reminding him of an event that happened two days prior at the Cantonese boy’s boarding house. 

 

_ (As soon as Mark opened the front door of the dorm his Comp Lab partner resided in along with Kun, his former fellow student councilor, Renjun and some new kid called Yang Yang who apparently speaks German, his eyes were met with chaos. Renjun, covered in glitter and what appeared to be ketchup, ran around the kitchen island chasing after a yelling Yukhei, while Chenle - who Mark was pretty sure had a home of his own, but always seems to be at the dorm instead - watched and dolphin screamed in delight, seated next to who he assumed was the new guy who appeared to be surprisingly unbothered by the events in front of him. Kun lay next to the coffee table, seemingly asleep until you noticed the small movements of the eldest hitting his head against the plush carpet repeatedly. Ouch. _

 

_ Suddenly, a crash of limbs and pots resounded through the dorm and a manically cackling Renjun walked in with Yukhei held in a tight headlock, the latter wailing like a small child as Renjun wiped his glitter covered hands on the older’s wet hair and snarled in Chinese what Mark could only assume was along the lines of “pull this shit again and say goodbye to your balls.”  _

 

_ Yeah. Something along those lines.) _

 

“You know, for some reason I highly doubt that’s true, but go off.”

 

-

 

**[ 9.45 pm ]**

**[ chat : pararenjun activity ]**

  
  


**[snek]** yall im b o r e d 

**[snek]** where do u guys think mark is

 

**[baby]** in his room studyign smh

**[baby]** what a lame ass 

 

**[jeno]** y arent u guys concerned abt jun’s sudden psychopathic tendencies

 

**[baby]** mainly bc i think he’s always been like this

**[baby]** but also bc i tend to solve problems by pretending they arent there

 

**[snek]** YO

**[snek]** YOYOYOYOYOYOYOYO

**[snek]**  did you guys here that????

 

**[jeno]** here

 

**[snek]** stfu

 

**[baby]** are u hearing chenle n donghyuck being forced to sing along to i’ll try by day6 bc thats what i hearin

 

**[snek]** what

 

**[jeno]** what

 

**[baby]** okay gr8 news then

**[baby]** i now know where hyung is keeping the other 2

**[baby]** bad news

**[baby]** it hink someone is breaking into the house

 

**[snek]** why i’ll try though

**[snek]** why not hi hello or smth

 

**[jeno]** shut it jaemin just appreciate the art that is day6

 

**[snek]** anyway

**[snek]** yeah i heard the breaking in of the house yea

 

**[baby]** which one r we gonna confront first

**[baby]** renjun’s demon 

**[baby]** or a potential mass murderer who targets rich skinny bois

 

**[jeno]** i’ll take mass murderer for 300

 

**[snek]** as much as im glad u are acknowledging ur status as rich skinny boi in this friendship group i hope u arent including me

**[snek]** bc by ur logic u n chenle would be the only dead one after all this

 

**[jeno]** dont act like u dont have a bunch of cash in ur paypal frm catfishing koreebs 

 

**[baby]** whose pictures were u using @snek

 

**[jeno]** smh he used MINE

**[jeno]** and i still havent gotten my cut

 

**[snek]** lets discuss this another time

 

**[baby]** point is we are all skinny, even if donghyuck hyung insists that he’s thicc

 

**[jeno]** ew

**[jeno]** donghyuck being thicc is a thing of nightmares

 

**[snek]** so we gon confront the murderer then?

 

**[jeno]** heres an idea

**[jeno]** maybe its mark

 

**[snek]** logical i guess

 

**[baby]** i’ll check

  
  


-

 

**[** **9.58 pm ]**

**[ chat : hep im bord ]**

  
  


**[baby]** m-mark hyung?

**[baby]** is that u at the door

 

**[mork]** oh so now yall wanna answer ur goddamn texts

 

**[baby]** HYUGN JUST ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION GGRRRRRR

 

**[mork]** okay no need to growl u arent ravi frm vixx

**[mork]** yeah its me im w lucas

 

**[jeno]** still can’t believe his eng name is lucas lmao

 

**[mork]** whats wrong w the name lucas - lucas

 

**[jeno]** bIFHC YOU JUST GON LET HIM READ THE TEXTX?? WHY ARE YOU PTTUING ME ON BLAST SHIT

 

**[snek]** ladies ladies, this isnt love and hiphop please calm down

 

**[mork]** why do u know what love and hip hop is - lucas

 

**[snek]** johnny promised to help me w geo hwk last week 

**[snek]** i get to his house, turns out he was pettily fighting w ten hyung and didnt have anyone to watch it w so he made me accompany him

**[snek]** it was enlightening, i really related to cardi b

 

**[ducky]** y, bc you’re both annoying ass bitches w nice teeth

 

**[snek]** oof where did u come frm

 

**[ducky]** satan’s uterus

 

**[snek]** big mood

**[snek]** anyway long story short i now know how to cuss someone out in english and subsequently failed my geo test

 

**[jeno]** oof donghyuck ur alive

 

**[ducky]** yes 

**[ducky]** demon overlord renjun got bored nd let us go 

**[ducky]** we’re just trying to shuffle around and find the mains switch he switched off without majorly injuring ourselves

 

**[jeno]** use the torch on ur phone??   
  


**[ducky]** my phone is hanging on 5% battery 

**[ducky]** no torch of mine is going to be switched on

 

**[mork]** lmao why does that sound like some type of euphenism - lucas

 

**[ducky]** ???????

 

**[jeno]** mark n lucas hyung at the door

 

**[mork]** yeah mark seems to not know how this spare key works so im just texting frm hi s phone - lucas

 

**[ducky]**  wait you’re lucas? like yukhei wong lucas?? like lamppost tall lucas?????

 

**[mork]** lol yeah - lucas

  
  


**_ducky_ ** _ left the chat! _

  
  


**[jeno]** oop there he go

 

**[snek]** aaAsgh MY EYES

 

**[mork]** oh u guys found this mains switch?

**[mork]** lmao why did hyuck leave the chat

 

**[baby]** is this mark speaking now

 

**[mork]** yes

 

**[baby]** sorry *hyung

 

**[jeno]** mark are u still struggling with the door

 

**[mork]** no thats jungwoo hyung

 

**[baby]** shcddhs afuckFUCK WHY IS JUNGWOO HYNG WHERE

 

**[mork]** lmao jisung’s parents called him bc the neighbours were worried abt the amount of screaming 

 

**[baby]** FUCK

 

**[snek]** oh wow u guys could hear us?

 

**[mork]** YES its hard to not hear chenle’s possessed dolphin screeching

 

**[snek]** right right

**[snek]** speaking of our adorable dolphin dongsaeng

**[snek]** where is he

 

**[injun]** he dropped his phone when searching for the switch

**[injun]** and then stepped on it

 

**[snek]** poor baby

 

**[child]** i resent that ur callunf me an baby 

**[child]** but ifm sad do yes give me pity

 

**[jeno]** wow ur worse at spelling than usual that phone must be fucked up

 

**[child]** ni i just cant sre proeperly thru the teasrs

 

**[injun]** yeah he’s sitting in the corner of jisung’s brothers room crying

 

**[snek]** standard

**[snek]** so @injun haveu expelled whatever demon had possessed ur soul

 

**[injun]** fuck off

 

**[snek]** uh uh thats not an answer

 

**[baby]** y are u PROVOKING him 

**[baby]** do u want a sequel to pararenjun activity

 

**[injun]** para what

 

**[baby]** look at that its my bedtime good night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some context since i technically cut this arc (??) short  
> \- renjun, kun and yukhei are dorming together since their parents are still in their respective home countries  
> \- chenle's family all live in korea but chenle is never home bc of boredom  
> \- jungwoo is jisung's baby sitter thats why he of all people were called lmao  
> \- yukhei and jungwoo end up crashing the sleepover, and that leads to donghyuck realising how much of a crackhead yukhei is, diminishing his infatuation with his face  
> \- before all that however, donghyuck hid in the shoe closet until mark found him n dragged him out  
> \- (he still refers to him as god yukhei tho)  
> \- renjun wasn't genuinely angry he just finds it funny to scare the living shit out of them since they play pranks on him so often  
> \- yukhei was dared to snort the mystery white powder from jisung's bro's room, to check if its really cocaine  
> \- it was icing sugar
> 
> AH the hairstyles yes well mark has his we young era hair, donghyuck, jaemin and renjun have their go era hair, jeno and jisung have their joy era hairstyles and chenle's is how it is rn (brunette) - as much as they go to an international school, they still have uniform and a dress code so like no rightly dyed hair n stuff (donghyuck bribed his homeroom teacher to let him keep his hair colour with boxes of tangerines frm his grandma's farm in jeju)
> 
> i think thats it tbh but if i can think of anything or if there is anything else you guys wanna know then just comment! thank u for all the kudos n comments uwu ilu all!!!


	9. chittaphon leechaiyapornkul, innovator of the english language

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> skinny legs and the succ (ft. chits)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating again woop  
> this chp is shorter than i normally write but i wanna post more often as a thank for all the lurvs and suportz you guys give :') wowow thank u for over 100 kudos n over 1000 views!!!! i love u all kisses to all of u 
> 
> warning! they talk abt the succ but no one does the succ so dont worry! if u dont like these types of discussion topics well u might wanna stop reading this fic lmao

**[ 5.02pm ]**

**[ chat : hep im bord ]**

 

**[ducky]** jeno puts the "skinny leg" in skinny legend

  
**[jeno]** SHUT

**[jeno]** wHERE IS THIS COMING FRM

**[jeno]** yoURE SKINNIER THAN ME

 

**[ducky]** at least im proportionally skinny

 

**[jeno]** that makes NO sense

 

**[child]** why do u guys revive the chat just to insult each other

 

**[snek]** ladies ladies ur both beautiful

 

**[injun]** jaemin until when r u gonna use the same stale ass meme over n over again

 

**[snek]** when chenle learns how to conjugate properly

**[snek]** or when mark hyung lets go of his pride and stops being vegetarian

 

**[mork]** stop ATTACKING my lifestyle choices

 

**[snek]** i dont get your mind

**[snek]** how can u be vegetarian n go out w yukhei hyung n yoonoh hyung to drink

**[snek]** and NOT eat chicken smh

 

**[mork]** being vegetarian isnt that hard guys

 

**[jeno]** thats bc ur sense of pride can endure more than hyuck's ego

**[jeno]** thats a feat in itself

 

**[ducky]** uh uh uh

**[ducky]** dont change the topic

**[ducky]** i still want to discuss jeno n his twig legs

 

**[child]** jeno stop skipping leg day challenge failed

 

**[jeno]** shut up chenle

**[jeno]** just bc i have skinny legs doesnt mean i cant snap u in half

 

**[child]** gulp

 

**[injun]** u dont intimidate anyone ur just a buff marshmellow

 

**[jeno]** >:(

 

**[mork]** jeno dont threaten the baby

**[mork]** anyway should jeno have better legs than arms since he does soccer

 

**[ducky]** yeah jeno

 

**[snek]** yeah jeno

 

**[child]** yeah jeno

 

**[injun]** yeah jeno

 

**[baby]** yeah jeno

 

**[jeno]** @baby did u just wake up to bully me

**[jeno]** and i dont see u guys clowning jaemin for his twig like figure he does track

 

**[snek]** the skinner i am the less air resistance

**[snek]** this skinnyness is hard earned and well maintained

 

**[jeno]** what bullshit

 

**[baby]** @jeno does it matter if i woke up just to diss u

**[baby]**  u cant prove anything

 

**[jeno]** im literally sitting on ur couch????

**[jeno]** with u???

 

**[ducky]** why on earth r u at jisung's house

 

**[jeno]** i came to eat his mum's gourmet ice cream

 

**[ducky]** where was my invite

 

**[jeno]** lost the moment u decided to bully me for my skinny legs

 

**[snek]** okay but y are u guys texting if ur in the same room

 

**[injun]** dont be fake jaemin u do that all the time

 

**[snek]** ahem last time i checked

**[snek]** u arent jisung or jeno

 

**[injun]** istfg

 

  * **ducky (** ** _lee.dhyuck)_** _to_ **baby** ** _(pwark.jisung)_**



 

**[ducky]** jisung

**[ducky]** jisung

**[ducky]** jisung

**[ducky]** jisung

**[ducky]** JSIUNG

 

**[baby]** WHAT

 

**[ducky]** ahem

 

**[baby]** *hyung

 

**[ducky]** open the goddamn DOOR

 

**[baby]** ????

 

**[ 5.36pm ]**

**[ chat : hep im bord]**  


**[baby]** y is donghyuck at my front door

 

**[jeno]** IGNORE HIM

 

**[snek]** he came to eat ur mum's gourmet ice cream

 

**[mork]** jaemin u snek

 

**[baby]** what ice cream

 

**[jeno]** what ice cream there is no ice cream

**[jeno]** well not anymore

 

**[baby** **]**  HYUNG

 

**jeno** _left the chat!_

 

**[ducky]** omf look at them skinny legs go

 

**[mork]** ???

**[mork]** oof i just saw a flash go past my front yard

 

**[child]** ??

 

**[ducky]** i heard jisung screaming at jeno and the suddenly

**[ducky]** the door flew open

**[ducky]** jeno RAN the fuck out

**[ducky]** and jisung used his baseball bat to fling the empty ice cream tub at him as he escaped

**[ducky]** so i came for nothing :((

 

**[injun]** didnt jeno drive there?

 

**[baby]** yeah his ugly car is still in my driveway

 

**[injun]** so he's gonna run all the way home?

 

**[baby]** sigh

**[baby]** idiot hyung

 

**[snek]** hey

**[snek]** at least this way he might actually have leg muscles

**[snek]** yay for leg day amirite

-

 

**[ 7.29pm ]**

**[ chat : hep im bord]**

 

  
**injun** _added_ **jeno** _to the chat!_

 

**[child]** if mark hyung doesnt eat meat then is he not allowed to suck dick

 

**[jeno]** your mind...

 

**[mork]** c-chenle

 

**[ducky]** JHeSHDHH IM DYIGNT

 

**[snek]** CHENLE U PRECIOSU CHIDN I LOVR YOU

 

**[baby]** ICONIC

 

**[injun]** well mark

**[injun]** answer the man

 

**[mork]** caN WE NOT RIHTJ NIW

 

**[snek]** hoho maybe there is someone else we can consult

 

**snek** _added_ **chits** _to the chat!_

 

**[chits]** henlo child ren

 

**[jeno]** ten hyuuuuuuuuuung

**[jeno]** we have a v important q

 

**[chits]** why me lol

 

**[ducky]** bc u are the resident hoe hyung

 

**[chits]** i resent that title

**[chits]** but go off i guess

 

**[baby]** chenle its ur time to shine

 

**[child]** ten hyung, if someone is vegetarian, are they not allowed to suck dick

 

**[chits]** who is this someone

 

**[injun]** mark

 

**[mork]** canU GSUDY STOP

**[mork]** I HAVE NO ITNEREST 8N SUCK8NG DICK

 

**[ducky]** what a shame

 

**[chits]** well i cant say ive contemplated this before

**[chits]** i say its fine

**[chits]** unless ur idea of doing the _succ_ means the _succer_ is gonna chomp off the _succee's_ dick

 

**[snek]** _succ_ ? _succer_ ?? _succee_ ?????

 

**[chits]** lol right yall are korean

**[chits]** _succ_ = the dick sucking

**[chits]** _succer_ = the person doing the _succ_

**[chits]** _succe_ = the person receiving the _succ_

**[chits]** it works better verbally

 

**[injun]** chittaphon leechaiyapornkul innovator of the english language

 

**[mork]** well that shed five years off of my life span

**[mork]** no thanks to u ten hyung

 

**[chits]** glad i was of no help 

**mork** _kicked_ **chits** _out of the chat!_

 

**[child]** are we gonna ignore the fact that donghyuck hyung said what a shame when mark said he dont wanna do the succ

 

**[snek]** ajdhdhe he did WHAT noe

 

**[mork]** yes we are going to ignore it

 

**[ducky]** :'^l

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah thank you for reading! the beginning part of this chp is actually inspired by a noren fic called don't skip leg day by ultraviolentae!! idk how to add the link but u guys should def read it uwu and the succ discussion i actually had this w my older n younger sister lmao im projecting myself onto mark vegetarians represent!


	10. will give cheap wine for notes xoxo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yoonoh hyung is an alcoholic and wangja.wong enters the chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of being high in this so if u dont like it then u can skip the first half of this chp

**[ 3.47am ]**

**[ chat : hep im bord ]**

  


**[snek]** the real plot twist of 2018 is finding out that jae from day6 is the oldest member

 

 **[jeno]** what is up w everyone’s obssession w ruining lives at ass o’clock in the morning

 

 **[mork]** someone tell chenle and jisung to SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

 **[ducky]** they are both in this chat?

 

 **[mork]** @ **child** @ **baby** shut the fuck up

 

 **[injun]** what the fuck is going on now

 

 **[jeno]** jaemin is ruining my life and mark is hearing voices

 

 **[injun]** oof mark how r u out here hearing them when we are all in our respective houses and respective beds

 

 **[snek]** speak for urself im not in bed

 

 **[ducky]** we know sis

 **[ducky]** i can fucking see u on ur roof i hope u fucking fall

 

 **[snek]** choke bitch

 

 **[ducky]** jeno tell ur friend to stop blasting hyukoh on his fucking roof

 **[ducky]** some people have parents that are sleeping rn

 **[ducky]** actualLY WHERE R UR PARENTS

 

 **[snek]** oh so u were srs about revoking ur friendship

 **[snek]** lol they not here

 

 **[injun]** what did he do for u to do that

 

 **[ducky]** yesterday i was at his house and after beating him at mariokart

 **[ducky]** n being the asshole that i am i made fun of his lack of gaming skills

 **[ducky]** anD HE THREATENED TO SHOVE MY EPIPEN UP MY ASS

 

 **[jeno]** jaem u sure u str*ight

 

 **[snek]** shut jeno

 **[snek]** in my defense 3 days ago donghyuck told me to choke on my inhaler

 

 **[ducky]** i only said that bc i love irony

 **[ducky]** wait is that,,, smoke i see

 

 **[snek]** idk what you’re talking abt sis

 

 **[jeno]** hold up

 **[jeno]** ur smoking AND listening to hyukoh on ur roof without me

 

 **[injun]** he didnt invite u bc ur a bum bitch and u cry when ur high

 

 **[jeno]** but why must you read me like that

 

 **[snek]** okay u guys need to calm the fuc k down

 **[snek]** we literally just brought up my inhaler u guys know i have seasonal asthma what business do i have w smoking

 

 **[injun]** idk yoonoh hyung is allergic to grapes but finishes a bottle of wine by himself every weekend

 

 **[snek]** yeah wel yoonoh hyung might be an alcoholic

 **[snek]** plus he double majors n he has a classmate who gives him rlly cheap wine frm south africa in exchange for notes

 

 **[jeno]** can we not forget the issue at hand

 

 **[mork]** thank u jeno

 **[mork]** u were always my favourite

 

 **[ducky]** ouch

 

 **[jeno]** not u mark

 **[jeno]**  im talking abt jaemin being an ass n not inviting me over

 

 **[snek]** bitch u went to my child’s house w/o me

 

 **[baby]** who u calling a child

 

 **[snek]** right *baby

 

 **[jeno]** im on my way to ur house now

 

 **[snek]** why?????

 

 **[jeno]** to beat ur ass

 **[jeno]** \+ if u fall off the roof (again) i have to be the one to film it, its tradition

 

 **[baby]** lmao remember before jeno n jaemin became friends they got into a fist fight

 

 **[ducky]** it wasnt a fist fight it was jaem getting his ass handed t him

 

 **[baby]** my ten year old self had respect for jeno hyung in those days wow how the times have changed

 

 **[mork]** JISUNG

 

 **[baby]** oh shit

 

 **[mork]** bitch go the fuck to sleep i can hear you and chenle screeching from my room

 

 **[baby]** close ur window or smth

 

 **[mork]** my window IS closed ive been blasting i got a boy in my earphones on loop and i can still hear chenle’s dolphin screeches

 

 **[baby]** that sounds like a you problem hyung

 

 **[injun]** why is chenle even at ur house

 

 **[baby]** he didnt want to go on holiday w his parents to hawaii so he is staying at my house for the hols since his parents dont trust himself in the house by himself

 **[baby]** he technically has a housekeeper that could take care of him but he bribed them w lotte world tickets and a bonus coming frm his pocket money

 

 **[snek]** chenle should have given me his ticket to hawaii the fuck

 

 **[ducky]** how come he never bribes me w lotte world tix

 

 **[injun]** u arent even worth a stale cheeto

 

 **[ducky]** ouch

 **[ducky]** oh my god no

 

 **[injun]** what now

 

 **[ducky]** dumber has joined dumb n they now are both on the roof of jaemin’s house singing along to love ya

 

 **[injun]** how have ur neighbours not filed complaints

 

 **[ducky]** jaemin is too likable (  ᣇ - ᣇ )

 **[ducky]** cant relate

 

 **[mork]** aw hyuck

 **[mork]** ur alright

 

 **[injun]** how romantic

 

 **[ducky]** update i think one of them has fallen off the roof

 

 **[jeno]** no jaemin fell asleep bc of the weed gummy bears he got frm yukhei

 

 **[injun]** how r u guys gonna get down frm there

 

 **[jeno]** idk abt jaemin but im getting donwn the way icame up

 

 **[injun]** SHJDHSJHDKS YOURE GONNA LEAVE HIM UP THERE???

 

 **[mork]** its COLD he’ll DIE

 

 **[jeno]** dont be overdramatic

 

 **[mork]** bitch he has an immune system weaker than jisung

 

 **[baby]** ouch

 

 **[mork]** u can talk to me when u carry ur mum’s groceries frm the car without breaking a sweat

 

 **[injun]** ahsghshgsdds

 

 **[jeno]** some ppoints were made

 **[jeno]** okay well i brought his bedsheets out n tucked him in

 **[jeno]** [image.jpg]

 

 **[injun]** uglie

 

 **[mork]** at least he doesnt drool a fucking sea

 

 **[injun]** that was ONE time

 

 **[mork]** it was on my MUSIC HOMEWORK

 

 **[ducky]** when did this happen

 

 **[injun]** last day of term lmao

 

 **[ducky]** legend

 

 **[jeno]** well goodnight guys i have a bed waiting for me

 

 **[mork]** ithought u brought blankets up?

 

 **[jeno]** yeah but my parents are gonna freak if they dont find me in my room tmrw morning

 

 **[injun]** he cant be serious…..

 

 **[ducky]** omF HE IS

 **[ducky]** HES DRIVING BACK HOME

 

 **[injun]** JEN O HWAT THE FUCK

 

 **[mork]** it be ur own friends

  


**[ 10.37am ]**

  


**[snek]** JENO HOW DAR EYOU

 **[snek]**  I CANT BELIEVE U LEFT ME ON THE FUCKING ROOF

 

 **[jeno]** listen u should be grateful i even tucke d u in

 **[jeno]** i said i was coming over i didnt mention anything abt actually sleeping over

 

 **[mork]** it be ur own friends

 

 **[ducky]** it seems that jeno is deserving of the title of snek

 **[ducky]** but im pissed off at jaemin n he’s the snekiest of all sneks

 

 **[snek]** tf did i do

 

 **[injun]**  u exist

 

 **[child]** y are u hyungs always grumpy in the morning

 **[child]** its the holidays! be happy!!

 

 **[jeno]** tf you so loud for

 

 **[child]** that was a text wym loud??

 

 **[mork]** u are actually beign loud tf i can still hear u guys

 **[mork]** plus jeno came over to steal pancakes so he can hear u

 

 **[ducky]** is that all u use ur car for jeno? to go to ppls houses n eat their food

 

 **[jeno]** at least i have a car

 **[jeno]** nvm that at least i have a license

 

 **[injun]** oof he went there

 

 **[ducky]** shut it renjun u dont have a license either

 

 **[injun]** thats bc im chinese u dumbfuck

 

 **[snek]** ladies ladies

 

 **[ducky]** ISTG

 **[ducky]** n e ways back to me being pissed off

 **[ducky]** i got woken up for breakfast earlier n my mum asks me “did u hear singing from the neightbours rooftop at around 3am” with this disturbed look on her face and i freak out bc shit she was awake!!! and im not tryna have jaemin be banned frm my house since he still have my copy of pokemon rubyin his ds

 **[ducky]** so i try to act nonchalant n im like “idk maybe” and then lil brother no 2 goes “oh yeah! i think that was jaemin donghyuck hyung’s best friend!” then turns to me like the evil lil shit he is , grinnign n shit

 **[ducky]** so im out here simultaneously thinking of ways to save jaemin’s rep n kill brother no 2 without my parents realising

 **[ducky]**  and my dad just looks up frm his book and is like “oh jaemin? what a nice boy”

 **[ducky]** THEN THE CONVERSATIOB IS DROPPED?????

 

 **[child]** omf when will ur favs ever

 

 **[baby]** the power of na jaemin

 

 **[ducky]** like yeah i was trying to save jaemin’s ass

 **[ducky]** but i hate that he proved me right when i said he was too likable

 

 **[jeno]** what a man

 

 **[injun]** lmao the first time donghyuck has ever been upset abt being right

 

 **[snek]** im sorry donghyuck

 

 **[ducky]** hmph

 

 **[mork]** u fake dont pretend ur still pissed

 **[mork]** n jeno get out of my kitchen

 

 **[jeno]** bih

 

 **[snek]** anyway hyuckie why do not call ur brothers by their name

 

 **[ducky]** dont use nicknames to butter me up u ass

 **[ducky]** n thats bc i cant remember their names half of the time

 

 **[snek]** they live w u how can u not know their names

 

 **[ducky]** my subconscious blocks it out bc they stole the position of maknae for me

 

 **[mork]** hyuck u were never maknae u were born before ur sister

 

 **[ducky]** ur point is

 **[ducky]** they are lil demons that steal my pens and draw on my walls okay

 **[ducky]** be glad u guys have older siblings

 

 **[snek]** i dont have any :’((((

 

 **[mork]** uve prety much forced jisung to become ur lil bro tho

 

 **[snek]** correction, he’s my son

 

 **[baby]** i did not consent to any of this

 

 **[snek]** its okay nunu ur consent wasnt required

 

 **[baby]** uhm?

 

 **[child]** what’s nunu?

 

 **[jeno]** im korean n i dont even know

 

 **[child]** thats not surprising

 

 **[jeno]** ouch

 

 **[mork]** have u been hanging out w yoonoh n his wine dealer again

 

 **[snek]**  maybe

 

 **[ducky]** ????

 

 **[snek]** storytime : i was adopted by a south african wine dealer

 

 **[injun]** what

 

 **[snek]** so basically ive beeeeeeeeen struggling w chemistry n i asked yoonoh hyung if he knew anyone who could help me n it turns out that his wine dealer frm south africa has a roommate who studies it!

 **[snek]** so i go to hyung’s apt and guess who i find!

 **[snek]** yuta hyung! n sa wine dealer lol

 **[snek]** so im shook bc the last time i saw yuta hyung was when i was hosting him two years ago during his exchange

 **[snek]** turns out yuta hyung is sa wine dealer’s roommate which is slightly confuse bc sa wine dealer appears to be female but oh well now im being tutored by yuta hyung

 **[snek]** apparently yoonoh hyung n yuta hyung only met each other a few weeks ago lol wild

 

 **[jeno]** none of tht tells us what nunu means

 

 **[snek]** jeno im getting there

 **[snek]** anyway so im  eing tutored ya know polymerisation dna replication shit im getting my knowledge

 **[snek]** and i hear squealing behind me

 **[snek]** i turn n sa wine dealer is talking to yoonoh hyung in rapid eng that idk if i even understand

 **[snek]** your boy gets shook again bc then they look at me and ask me what my name is

 **[snek]** in korean!

 

 **[injun]** y would u get shook surely if they are studying in korea they would know korean

 

 **[snek]** i was caught off guard okay

 **[snek]** they spoke better korean than mark

 

 **[ducky]** everyone is better at korean than mark

 **[ducky]** except for chenle ofc

 

 **[snek]** ANYWAY’

 **[snek]** i introduce myself n yuta hyung get up to go the the bathroom so we chat for a bit

 **[snek]** yoonoh hyung calls me to the kitchen

 **[snek]** and sa wine dealer (who i now know goes by minhee) is confused bc hyung called me nana

 **[snek]** then i explain y my nickname is nana and they squeal bc apparently tahst a v cute nickname

 **[snek]** bc in south africa nana means baby

 **[snek]** so noona (they told me to just call them noona im stil v confused bt the roommate thing) says that they are gonna call me nunu bc nunu also means baby

 **[snek]** tldr : nunu means baby and i have been adopted by yoonoh hyung’s wine dealer frm south africa

 

 **[mork]** i lost brain cells reading this useless story

 

 **[injun]** i…

 

 **[jeno]** cant believe u are getting chemistry tutoring without me

 

 **[ducky]** why is everything abt u being abandoned jeno

 

 **[jeno]** bc everything is abt me being abandoned donghyuck

 

 **[injun]** donghyuck will u stop fighting ppl

 

 **[ducky]** never

  


**-**

  


**[ 4.54pm ]**

  


**[mork]** guys im adding lucas to this chat

 

 **[ducky]** noNO WHY

 

 **[snek]** im chill w that

 

 **[injun]** i already deal w him enough at the dorm y

 

 **[jeno]** okay cool

 

 **[child]** ^

 **[child]** jisung also agrees

 

 **[injun]** what is jisung doing thats so important that he cant answer himself

 

 **[child]** he’s attempting to make pancakes

 **[child]** keyword is attempting

 

 **[mork]** right well i wasnt asking for ur permission but go off i guess

 

 **[jeno]** okay but y are u against him being added if uve gotten over ur obsession w “god yukhei”

 

 **[ducky]** bc he’s annoying as shit

 

 **[injun]** rt

 

 **[mork]** come on guys the dude isnt that bad

 

 **[injun]** thats bc u dont live w him

 **[injun]** plus u been best friends w donghyuck for the longest so you’ve grown a tolerance to annoying ass people

 

 **[ducky]** ouch

 

 **[mork]** some points were made

  


**_mork_ ** _added_ **_sushi_ ** _(wangja.wong) to the chat!_

 

 **[sushi]** huh

 

 **[ducky]** MAKR why do u Hate me

 

 **[injun]** oh my god

 

 **[sushi]** _RENJUN_

 **[sushi]** _MY BOY_

 

 **[injun]** stay away frm me pls

 

 **[child]** renjun accept yukhei hyung’s love challenge failed

 

 **[snek]** oh?

 

 **[jeno]** oh?

 

 **[baby]** oh?

 

 **[injun]** no

 

 **[child]** ur no fun

 

 **[sushi]** _lele!_

 

 **[child]** _xuxi ge!_

 

 **[baby]** jisung!

 

 **[sushi]** hehe whats this

 

 **[mork]** right now that everyone is present

 **[mork]** my family is having a sunday lunch thing for my aunt’s bday and she said u can come!

 **[mork]** a few pointers u need to be aware of before u come over

 **[mork]** my aunt is srsly christian so we pray n stuff before eating, and its a loooooong prayer

 **[mork]** we arent allowed to swear or drink

 **[mork]** and we will most likely be put on a table w my younger cousins

 

 **[ducky]** u christians are wack

 

 **[injun]** i dont think its christians donghyuck, its just mark

 

 **[baby]** oof i dont know if i wanna come

 

 **[mork]** gUYS u cant leave me w my family

 **[mork]** i need moral support

 

 **[sushi]** i can bring u some special gummy bears if u want

 

 **[mork]** if we can drink what makes u think we’re allowed to be high

 

 **[sushi]** hehe just a suggestion

 

 **[injun]** hyung just bring them sigh

 **[injun]** we’ll all need them if we are to endure the nightmare that is mark’s aunt

 

 **[child]** wow renjun ge agreeing w yukhei ge wowow

 

 **[mork]** she isnt that bad

 

 **[ducky]** she gave us a lecture on how life is a god given gift that lasted 40 fucking mins when we were over at ur house and jeno jokingly asked someone to kill him so that he didnt hae to go do his stats exam

 

 **[jeno]** after that triad i actually wanted to die

 

 **[baby]** u see this is why i always refuse to come ove r to mark’s house smh

 

 **[mork]** bitch just yesterday u demanded i let u stay over at mine

 

 **[baby]** that was bc i was left alone w my brother and he had his girlfriend over ugh straights

 

 **[snek]** poor bb

 

 **[baby]** i cant tell whether that was meant to be sincere or not

 

 **[injun]** this is jaemin we’re talking abt

 

 **[snek]**  aw injunnie

 

 **[injun]** ofc he isnt being sincere

  
**[snek]** fuck all of yall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil bit of context :  
> \- there was a time skip between this chp n last chp, around 2 months long so they are on summer holiday now  
> \- mark & jisung are neighbours, and jaemin & onghyuck are neighbours  
> \- donghyuck is allergic to mosquito bites in this au, but he gets bitten so often especially during summer that he has to carry his epipen around with him, jaemin has seasonal asthma (asthma that can be triggered by pollen allergies lol gotta love hay fever)  
> \- the classmate that exchanges wine for notes is me hehe in SA u can buy good wine for R40 which is like £3 lol gotta love self insertion  
> \- YES it it is illegal to have any form of weed in south korea but for the purpose of this fic there is just an age restriction. they dont smoke it tho they eat weed gummy bears that yukhei supplies bc jaemin cant smoke and the last time they did, they hotboxed ten's apartment & jeno got in trouble w his grandmother for coming home smelling like weed lol
> 
> anyway this was more context than im sure u guys needed but oh well hehe i enjoyed writing these notes so  
> i hope u guys enjoyed this update! i already dont post frequently but its gonna get worse since im prepping for finals soon ㅠㅠ


	11. the lunch that went wrong pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> impromptu sleepovers and mark dresses like a white boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to post this yesterday for nana's birthday but oh well  
> happy birthday to my baby jaemin uwu i hope he had a great day n that he ate cake and was happy muah

**[ 02.36pm ]**

**[ chat : hep im bord ]**

  
  


**[sushi]** happy birthday mark!!!

 

**[mork]** my birthday was yesterday

**[mork]** we were together and u shouted it in my ear the moment i opened my front door

 

**[sushi]** why dont i remember this

 

**[injun]** probably bc u binge ate jelly beans before u left to go to mark’s place and were on a sugar high

 

**[sushi]** idk man i just remember waking uo on a floor face down

 

**[mork]** yeah u passed out in my living room

**[mork]** you are still on my living room floor

 

**[sushi]** wild

 

**[injun]** y are u talking to one another via text if u are in the same room

 

**[mork]** correction, we are in the same house yes

**[mork]** in the same room no

**[mork]** what made u thinking i was gonna sacrifice my bed for lucas

 

**[injun]** so u pulled a jeno

 

**[mork]** exactly

 

**[jeno]** HEY

 

**[mork]** i dont see the big deal

 

**[injun]** u are a horrible host

**[injun]** remind me to never sleep over at ur house

**[injun]** but after like 2 days bc im on my way to ur house

 

**[mork]** what why

 

**[injun]** well i heard smth abt kun ge having sicheng ge over for a sleepover

**[injun]** and im not up for hearing mysterious noises in the middle of the night

 

**[jeno]** i thought sicheng ge and jaemin’s chemistry hyung were a thing

**[jeno]** at least thats what it looked like to me when i was at yoonoh hyung’s apt

 

**[injun]** why were u there

 

**[jeno]** he stole my calculator the last time he attempted to tutor me in math

 

**[injun]** why on earth would u go to yoonoh hyung to get math tutoring

 

**[ducky]** how dar eu get math tutoring without us

**[ducky]** we were meant to fail together!

 

**[jeno]** hyuck i AM failing

**[jeno]** u arent! how is this fair!

 

**[ducky]** u have a point

 

**[mork]** but renjun

**[mork]** what makes u think u can jus invite urself to my house

 

**[injun]** too late im here

**[injun]** open the door

 

**[mork]** wtf no

 

**[sushi]** mark i opened the door for renjunnie

**[sushi]** oh oops

 

**[mork]** i know u did u shouted it out as u opened the door

 

**[injun]** the one and only time i will ever appreciate xuxi ge’s presence

 

**[sushi]** u know u love me

 

**[jeno]** seeing as u guys are having a lil impromptu sleepover

 

**[mork]** there is no sleepover they are crashing my house 

 

**[sushi]** whats the problem u said u were gonna invite them anyway since ur parents are off to canada land of mark lees maple syrup and mooses

 

**[mork]** LUCAS

 

**[ducky]** #exposemarkleeparty

 

**[mork]** NO its meant to be international no clowning mark day 

 

**[ducky]** that was yesterday

 

**[mork]** u didnt talk to me at all yesterday except to say happy birthday

 

**[ducky]** but i didnt clown u did i

**[ducky]** youre welcome

 

**[jeno]** AS I WAS SAYING 

**[jeno]** since canada, lucas n traitor (renjun) are having a sleepover

**[jeno]** the rest of us can have one too

 

**[snek]** ur poorly concealed jealousy isnt amusing

 

**[jeno]** SHUT

 

**[injun]** aw nono ur jealous? how cute

 

**[jeno]** fuck u and ur fish

 

**[baby]** this is sickening

 

**[child]** NO not the fish 

**[child]** mao did nothing to deserve this disrespect

 

**[jeno]** isnt mao how u say cat in chinese 

 

**[injun]** it was chenle’s idea

 

**[sushi]** u let him name ur cat

**[sushi]** but u wont even let me 10 feet near ur fish

**[sushi]** is this discrimination against tall people

 

**[snek]** no its just discrimination against lucases

 

**[injun]** firstly mao isnt a cat u idiot she’s a fish

**[injun]** secondly u arent allowed near mao bc u killed the original mao

 

**[mork]** ???????

 

**[ducky]** AHA

**[ducky]** a flaw that isnt ur personality

**[ducky]** ur a MURDERDER

 

**[snek]** hyuck…

 

**[ducky]** oh fuck

 

**[mork]** renjun how do u know if ur fish is a girl

 

**[injun]** i dont, but joohyun noona was subbing for our art club teacher and taught us abt the history of feminism

**[injun]** men aint shit

 

**[ducky]** rt

 

**[mork]** uhm okay

 

**[sushi]** yay for women!!

 

**[child]** YAY

 

**[baby]** YAY

 

**[ducky]** tldr jeno no one wants to sleep over at ur house

 

**[jeno]** :((((((((((((((( aight

**[jeno]** let s crash at mark’s place then

 

**[snek]** im down

 

**[ducky]** cool

 

**[mork]** HEY

**[mork]** u cant just???? invite urself to my house

 

**[jeno]** too bad u do it to me all the time

 

**[mork]** i-

 

**[injun]** not only do i have to deal w xuxi but yall too? give me a break

 

**[snek]** is someone gonna tell him

 

**[ducky]** let him remain indenial

 

**[injun]** ://///////////

  
  


**[ 4.02pm ]**

  
  


**[jeno]** nana im at ur house

 

**[ducky]** i think everyone knows 

**[ducky]** i can hear ur ugly hooting frm my house

 

**[jeno]** then hurry the fuck up

**[jeno]** am i picking u up? @ **child**

 

**[child]** nah im at jisung’s house

 

**[snek]** again???

 

**[child]** yeah i let the housekeeper throw a party at my house

 

**[snek]** how old is ur housekeeper??????

 

**[child]** funny story

**[child]** by housekeeper i really mean babysitter

**[child]** who so happens to be sicheng ge

 

**[injun]** wait! sicheng ge stays with you??

 

**[child]** haha another funny story

**[child]** he is actually my cousin

 

**[injun]** oh my god

 

**[snek]** why didnt u tell us?? we’ve known u for 2 years and ur only mentioning this now??

**[child]** he moved in w us when we moved here to save money 

**[child]**  sicheng ge told me to keep it a secret bc he didnt want ppl to know that he was related to a “lil dumb dolphin headass bum bitch” :(

 

**[ducky]** IM WHEEZIFNBDHD

 

**[injun]** oh wow

**[injun]** cant say i blame him

 

**[child]** HEY

 

**[mork]** well when yall get here the door is unlockd im going to take a 5 five year in the bathtub

 

**[sushi]** mark just so that u know im eating all ur icecream

 

**[mork]** please dont

 

**[sushi]** no can do 

 

**[ducky]** could u at least wait til im there to binge on ice cream

**[ducky]** and where is renjun

 

**[sushi]** he passed out watching mark’s reruns of love and hiphop

**[sushi]** he said that the fighting in english mentally exhausts him and therefore makes him fall asleep

 

**[baby]** we all need help

  
  


-

 

_ a week later _

 

“Mom, are you sure you’re okay with my friends coming to Aunt Hyerin’s birthday lunch?” Mark asked from behind the kitchen counter, its surface covered in an assortment of side dishes. His mother, who was lithe and small, but carried a strong confident air wherever she went, flitted back and forth between the stove and the oven housing a roast chicken, the worried teenager’s question completely going over her head.

 

He ran his hand through his newly dyed brunette hair, simultaneously frustrated at the lack of response and worried for the disaster that was bound to occur whenever his best friends were involved (especially when  _ illegal substances  _ are added to the mix, giving him war flashbacks to the amount of AXE body spray he went through after the Day Ten’s Apartment Was Hotboxed).

“Mom. I said are you sure-” 

 

She waved him off franctically, “Yes Minhyungie, I’m sure! Now go set the table or something, I’m very busy.” She then turned to him and eyed his choice of clothing, internally tutting. “And change your clothes while you’re at it. I don’t understand why you still dress like a white boy, we’ve been here for so long! Why don’t you take some tips from your cute friend, Donghyuckie huh?” 

 

Mark groans, stomping up the stairs to his room as he grumbled under his breath about how _the table was set twenty minutes ago gosh mom,_ and his mother’s obvious preference of his sunkissed best friend. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing anyway?” He asked himself out loud, eyeing his khaki shorts and red polo clad reflection in the mirror that sat in the corner of his room.

 

“Everything, if I’m too be perfectly honest.” Donghyuck quipped from the doorway, amusedly watching his friend stare at himself, and then proceed to flinch from the sound of his voice suddenly cutting from the silence. 

 

Mark rolled his eyes, throwing himself backwards towards his bed. He eyed his friend who still stood, leaning on the doorframe, “Why are you here so early? I thought it would be too early for you to get up, it is a Sunday after all.” 

 

“Jeno picked us up early to pregame,” He shuffled to the bed and plopped onto the floor, proceding to lean on the bed side table. He pulled on the skin under his sparkly eyeshadow coated eyes with the pad of his index fingers, exposing the redness of his eyes. “Can’t you tell?”

 

Mark’s eyebrows furrowed, looking closer at his friend’s nonchalant demeanor. “Are you trying to tell me you’re high right now? How come I can’t smell it?”

 

“Xuxi- I mean, Lucas hyung has really strong cologne. Plus Jeno’s grandmother was home so we just ate the special gummy bears. Didn’t want a repeat of the Day Ten’s Apartment Was Hotboxed.” Renjun answered as he entered the room, startling Mark who jumped away from Donghyuck, realising their proximity.  _ Oh, Mark,  _ Renjun thought to himself, the movement having not gone unnoticed. 

 

“You’re here too?”

 

Renjun scoffed whilst fixing his black hair in the reflection of his dark phone screen. “Well yeah, we all went to Jeno’s house to pregame. Speaking of which, Jeno is chatting non-stop with your dad while eyeing the side dishes, so you might wanna stop him before he eats it all. His munchies are worse than normal today, he even ate two Big Macs on our way here. Oh, and your aunt arrived.”

 

At the mention of his aunt having arrived, Mark bolted out the room, only to return to change his shirt after being reminded by Donghyuck, who still sat by the dressing table, dazed, of why exactly he came to his room in the first place. Renjun just stood, giggling at the chaos that was his friend panickedly rummaging through his closet in search of something that didn’t look like it came out of the closet of a 30 something year old man having trouble coming to terms with his age.

 

_ Poor Mark. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh i dont like how i ended this but i will post the next part soon soon  
> i hope my prose isnt too horrible ahddjkd im really bad i can only write chatfics and literary essays lmao anywayi hope everyone has a great day! thank u all for commenting and kudos-ing bless ilu all


	12. the lunch that went wrong pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im SORRY i didnt post this earlier shdhdh ive been busy w exams and stuf f ew but hey! senior year is almost over bless hopefully i will update more  
> just so that yall know! there is praying but like crackhead ver. in this n i dont mean to make light of religion n praying so sorry if i offend anyone!! also the dreamies are high shdhjh dont hate me  
> hope u guys find this funny uwu

 

The thrum of voices in the large dining room of Mark’s home lowered in volume as his father called for attention at the head of the dinner table, covered in a medley of foods. “Now I would like to quickly thank you all for joining us on this blessed day to celebrate my dearest little sister Hyerin-ie’s birthday. Let us give thanks before proceeding with this lunch.”

 

Everyone moved around the table and joined hands, including the boys - everyone of them dressed in their Sunday best - to pray. 

 

After what felt like an hour and the first Amen, Jaemin notices the lack of a hand in his, and opens one eye, head tilted to his left. Jeno stood there, body leaning towards the plate of savoury pancakes on the table.  _ Oh my god no. Don’t do it, _ he thought to himself, eyes widening in fear as he watched his friend discreetly grab a pair of chopsticks laid out on the table in front of him. 

  
  


 

  * **_**_snek_** _(ohnanajaemin) to_ ** _ducky_** _(lee.dhyuck)__**



 

 

**[snek]** OMF DONGHCIKQBH

**[snek]** LOOK AT JENO

  
  


Donghyuck frowned with his eyes still closed at the feeling of his phone vibrating in his pocket. He opened one eye slightly, making eye contact immediately with Jaemin. who stood on the other side of the table parallel to him. Jaemin franctically pointed to the boy next to him, who still continued to attempt to grab a pancake, tongue poking out the side of his mouth in concentration.

  
  


**[ducky]** i dont think ive ever seen him concentrate this hard in my entire life

  
  


Jaemin let out a snort at the text then clapped his hands together by his face and squeezed his eyes close, suddenly remembering that he was still in a room full of people  _ praying.  _ Donghyuck on the other hand struggled to keep his giggles at bay, finding the whole situation very amusing as Jeno happily munched on a pancake - completely oblivious to the world around him. His convulsing however, alerted Renjun who previously stood to Donghyuck’s right with his eyes closed, eerily still and breath suspiciously regular, as if he were asleep (he was.) 

 

Struggling to internalise his yawning, Renjun tiredly rubbed under his eyes whilst mentally catching up with his surroundings. Suddenly alerted by Donghyuck’s insistent poking of his side, he looked up at the still panicking Jaemin across the table and Jeno who had moved onto bigger and better things - a leg of the roast chicken that luxuriously sat glazed in the middle of the table.

 

Donghyuck’s muted laughter only intensified, which in turn caused the boy next to him to giggle, their inebriated states leaving them unable to realise the urgency of the… situation concerning Jeno’s munchies. 

 

Jaemin however, had resorted to praying that Jeno wouldn’t get into much trouble - seeing as they were in a religious household,  _ surely God will at least listen to what I’m trying to say right?  _ Eyes still squeezed shut, he started to relay his message to whatever higher being would take pity and listen.

 

_ Hey God. Or whoever is listening I guess. Look, I get that technically I was raised Buddhist because of Grandma but hear me out. Jeno is about to attack Mrs Lee’s roast chicken and I don’t wanna get in trouble since I came with him please help me Mark hyung’s hyung is gonna beat our asses like the time we broke his PlayStation controllers when we were 14 I still can’t make eye contact with him oh my God- Shit I can’t say that right damn, I’m sor- _

 

Jaemin’s prayer was interrupted by the sound of a snort, most likely coming from the two still giggling boys on the other side of the table. He opened his eyes and made eye contact with Donghyuck, who’s amusement intensified once he realised that Jeno actually managed to grab a piece of the chicken while Jaemin was attempting to communcate with some divine being.

 

His laughter soon was cut short after he realised that Mark’s older brother stood behind his panicked friend, and Mark’s older brother’s eyes were very open and staring at him and his unaware friend next to him. He elbowed Renjun, who had started to calm down and gestured to the irritated male behind Jaemin - who continued praying for Jeno - and shook his head feverishly, trying to get his message of ‘Close Your Fucking Eyes And Pray’ across to the Chinese male. 

 

Renjun looked up and sobered up near instantaneously, face reddening and closing his eyes as he attempted to pretend that the past 10 minutes didn’t just happen.

 

The long winded prayer ended 2 Amens later and luckily, no more major incidents concerning the same aged friends had occured, besides having to delegate who exactly would explain to Mark’s mother what happened to the roast chicken (Jaemin and Renjun ended up blackmailing Mark to do it after they had drew in Rock Paper Scissors five times.) Despite avoiding any more disasters concerning  _ them,  _ it was safe to say that they weren’t going to be at anymore Sunday lunches at Mark’s, judging by his brother’s constant side-eyes and glares.

 

-

 

**[ 1.49pm ]**

**[ chat : hep im bord ]**

  
**ducky** _ changed the chat name to fuck mark lives _

 

  
**[mork]** let it GO donghyuck   
  
**[ducky]** NEVER 

**[ducky]** i am SCARRED MARKLE LEE

**[ducky]** YOU DISGUST ME

 

**[jeno]** huh

**[mork]** donghyuck slept over after the lunch that YOU GUYS ruined 

 

**[sushi]** i thought the lunch went great

 

**[mork]** thats because u were drunk on donuts

 

**[sushi]** exactly

 

**[injun]** i thought it wasnt too bad either 

 

**[mork]** everyone but me was HIGH renjun 

**[mork]** EVEN JISUNG AND CHENLE WERE HIGH

 

**[child]** how was i meant to know what those werent normal gummy bears

 

**[jeno]** they came without a packet and were in lucas' coat pockets

 

**[child]** lol so

 

**[snek]** u are the reason why when we were kids we were told to never take sweets frm strangers

  
  
**[injun]** lol anyway mark that sounds like a u problem

 

**[snek]** do u know what is an  _ us  _ problem

**[snek]** cthe fact that we are probably never going to be invited to mark’s house for dinner ever again

 

**[jeno]** aw why : <

 

**[injun]** jeno u ate the fucking chicken whilst EVERYONE WAS PRAYING

 

**[jeno]** YOU GUYS WERENT ANYBETTER YOU WERE LAUGHING THE WHOLE TIME

 

**[baby]** whew im glad we werent involved in that mess @ **child**

 

**[mork]** excuse me

 

**[snek]** bitch we all know u n chenle ate the jelly mark’s aunt brough t to the lunch while everyone was praying

 

**[child]** YOUR HONOUR I OBJECT

**[child]** THE PLAINTIFF HAS NO PROOF

 

**[mork]** objection fucking denied u ass i saw u eating it

 

**[snek]** [evidence_suck_on_that.jpg]

 

**[baby]** i plead the 5th

 

**[injun]** this is korea

 

**[baby]** what would u know ur chinese

 

**[jeno]** jisung u have no room to talk 

**[jeno]** daehwi told me that in ur history test u put louis xiv as the inventor of hangul

 

**[snek]** SHDHDGSHGDHGDKS

 

**[ducky]** I CHOKED

 

**[injun]** YOU FOOL

 

**[baby]** in my defense i was copying off of chenle’s paper

 

**[injun]** why would u copy off chenle he’s an idiot

 

**[child]** HEY!

**[child]** anyway how did u get that picture u were at the table

 

**[sushi]** yerim was there

 

**[child]** is that info meant to help    
  
**[ducky]** kids lets not lose the plot   
**[ducky]** so i wake up this morning

**[ducky]** mark pulled a jeno again n didnt even bother to move me frm under his desk

 

**[mork]** was it MY fault u passed out there of all places

 

**[injun]** under mark’s desk?

 

**[mork]** he was high off his mind and wanted to play angry birds but his phone was charging under my desk so he lay there but fell asleep 2 mins later

**[mork]** if anything hyuck u should be glad i even gave u blankets 

 

**[ducky]** thank u oh gracious god mork le

**[ducky]** back to being disgusted by mark lee

 

**[child]** i feel like being disgusted by mark hyung is msth we do all th time can we have some variety pls

 

**[ducky]** no

**[ducky]** as i was saying, i woke up this morning stiff as fuck frm being under a fucking table

**[ducky]** and i go downstairs only to find mark life ruiner lee doing the most chaotic evil thing known to man

 

**[jeno]** NO

 

**[snek]** he DIDNT

 

**[mork]** guys its not that big of a deal

**[mork]** i dont normally do that! i was tired!!   
  


**[injun]** doesnt change the fact tht u did it

 

**[baby]** i dont understand what did mark hyung do

 

**[ducky]** he poured milk before the cereal

**[ducky] !!!!!!!!!**

 

**[sushi]** why is tht a big deal i do that all the time

 

**[injun]** execute yourself

 

**[jeno]** wait

**[jeno]**  does that make mark chaotic evil? donghyuck arent u a self proclaimed chaotic evil

 

**[snek]** yeah how do we know that u dont do that too

 

**[ducky]** no mark isnt chaotic evil dont slander my people like that

**[ducky]** he’s just dumb

 

**[child]** and what about lucas ge

 

**[injun]** he’s also just dumb

 

**[baby]** wow mark hyung thats horrible

**[baby]** i bet u think cats are better than dogs and bite into ur ice cream

 

**[jeno]** lets not bring the cats and dogs debate into this the last time we did someone nearly got decked

 

**[baby]** YOU tried to deck ME

 

**[jeno]** YOU keep on bringing that dumb debate up

**[jeno]** and thats not the point

 

**[injun]** i bet mark is left handed

 

**[ducky]** disgusting

 

**[mork]** i need new friends

 

**[snek]** its too late for that ur stuck w us

 

**[injun]** and ur g*********

 

**[mork]** why did u censor graduating

 

**[injun]** bc it triggers donghyuck

 

**[ducky]** it does NOT

 

**[injun]** do u really wanna go there

**[injun]** must i bring up what u did the whole time we had our biweekly ‘00s hangout at jeno’s place on monday

 

**[ducky]** u got me there

 

**[snek]** good LORD that was annoying

 

**[ducky]** HEY what happened to u being the supportive friend!

 

**[snek]** im TIRED

**[snek]** plus when i got home my cousin asked me if i participated in a WET T SHIRT CONTEST

 

**[baby]** i am beyond confused rn

 

**[child]** mood

 

**[jeno]** werent we just discussing how mark life ruiner lee is a horrible human being

**[jeno]** why are we being s*** 

 

**[snek]** im not being soft donghyuck is 

 

**[jeno]** jaemin there was a reason i censored soft u know

 

**[ducky]** why do u all HATE ME

  
  


  * **_mork_** _(thesuperior.marklee) to_ ** _jeno_** _(thebestlee.jeno)_



 

**[mork]** explain pls

 

**[jeno]** bitch idk what u are on abt

**[jeno]** would it hurt to include wsome context

 

**[mork]** jeno pls

 

**[jeno]** sigh sig i guess u wanna know what happened at the hang out right

 

**[mork]** yes please :^(((

 

**[jeno]** ok so first never use that emoticon ever again 

 

**[mork]** :^(((((((((((((((((((

  
  


**[ 3.25pm ]**

**[ chat : the superior line (‘00s) ]**

  
  


**[injun]** and thats why i no longer enter kun ge’s room after 5pm

 

**[snek]** poor child u must have been traumatised

 

**[ducky]** bitch i would be too!! thats a v compromising position to be found in

**[ducky]** is that y when i go to their lunch table he always looks wrecked

 

**[injun]** idk if he does it that late into the night but maybe

 

**[snek]** how can u not know isnt ur room irght next uto his

 

**[injun]** i wear earplugs to bed bc lucas hyung is sharing w me becuase we gve his room to the new kid frm germany lmao

 

**[snek]** lmaoooooooooo

  
  


**jeno** _kicked_ **ducky** _from the chat!_

 

**[injun]** UHM

 

**[snek]** okay jeno 

 

**[jeno]** i needed to consult u guys on smth

 

**[injun]** why does that involve kicking donghyuck out

 

**[jeno]** bc it involves him dumbass

 

**[snek]** why didnt u sen d a message on our chat w/o him

 

**[injun]** remember last month? he got upset we hada chat w/o him and them made us delete it and baby him for the rest of the day

 

**[snek]** u would think he was the youngest of us all not me

 

**[jeno]** back to topic

**[jeno]** he is sending me sad memes and its making me soft i cant take it

**[jeno]** sooO mark hyung pm’ed me asking abt donghyuck being soft n sad n gay over him graduating

**[jeno]** do i tell him AAAAHHHHHH

 

**[snek]** idk donghyuckie wouldnt be too happy abt it

 

**[injun]** but i guess it wouldnt count as exposing him since he said himself that his crush isnt THAT deep

 

**[jeno]** but donghyuck is a compulsive liar so we can’t trust such a statement

 

**[injun]** true

 

**[snek]** okay then just word it like its comepletely platonic

**[injun]** but that’ll make the pining worse on both ends

 

**[snek]** BITCH IDK I AINT NO DR PHIL

**[snek]** go to fucking hello counselor if u want a proper answer

 

**[injun]** bitch why are u so aggressive

**[injun]** they wouldnt be of any help either but go off

 

**[jeno]** u guys are so useless

 

**[snek]** love u too

  
  


_ chat was cleared! _

**jeno** _ added  _ **ducky** _ to the chat! _

  
  


**[jeno]** oops my bad donghyuck

 

**[ducky]** i hope u choke on ur shitty ass celery sticks lee jeno u broccoli built bitch   
  


**[injun]** SHDJGDUFISDH  
  


**[jeno]** STOP BODYSHAMING ME U DICKWAD

 

**[snek]** if it helps my fav vegetable is broccoli

 

**[jeno]** 1\. that is a blatant lie

**[jeno]** 2\. if anything that statement makes everything worse

 

**[snek]** can t say i didnt try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will we ever know what kun does in their dorm?  
> and oooh a ship! idk yet if im gonna make it official but i love markhyuck lmao comment if u want me to make it an actual ship in this~ 
> 
> stream we go up!! shout at me on twt if u want - @baldctzen uwu thank u for all the comments n kudoseses!!!


	13. hoe hyung strikes again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ten is hoeing it up and chenle has a booty bite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaAY soooo i realised that the timeline might be unclear n messy so context time !! ba bam!  
> \- they are on summer holidays, it aligns with british school hols so since the first part of the lunch that went wrong, they been off school  
> \- so therefore,,,, mark has graduated frm high school! yay mark  
> \- also if the chat name changes, assume its been a while idk gygskydg  
> \- also also,, mr gong is gong jichul slash gong yoo slash my baby daddy what a man 
> 
> thank u for reading this everyone, im almost done w my finals so hopefully!! more frequent updates!

**[ 12.09pm ]**

**[ chat : fuck mark lee lives ]**

  


**[mork]** i require assistance

 

 **[injun]** the subscriber you have messaged is not available at the moment. don’t leave a message

 

 **[mork]** youre an ass i hope u know that

 

 **[injun]** i do try

 

 **[jeno]** ugh mark what do u want

 

 **[mork]** fuck yall i get enough attitude frm donghyuck

 **[mork]** johnny hyung got a girlfriend

 

 **[injun]** why is that a problem

 **[injun]** do u like him

 

 **[snek]** yeah mark

 

 **[child]** yeah mark

 

 **[baby]** yeah mark

 

 **[mork]** u guys are a bunch of disrespectful shits

 

 **[child]** *hyung

 

 **[mork]** its aproblem bc ten is upset w him and I have to deal w it

 

 **[ducky]** y do u have to deal w it

 

 **[mork]** hes ranting in the foreign swaggers gc and im the only one who hasnt muted it (yoonoh) or been kicked out by ten hyung (johnny)

 

 **[sushi]** hey y aren t i on this gc

 

 **[child]** im foreign too!!!

 

 **[mork]** @child u have to be able to speak english

 

 **[sushi]** i speak english!

 

 **[injun]** shouting _yeah man_ and _whats up man_ all the time doesnt count as english xuxi

 

 **[jeno]** yeouch

 

 **[ducky]** everything suddenly makes sense

 

 **[jeno]** is this abt dance club n the song he chose

 

 **[ducky]** ugh yes

 

 **[mork]** not again

 

 **[child]** im lost

 

 **[injun]** not a surprise

 

 **[mork]** OKAY so basicallyyyyyy ten hyung n johnny hyung have been an on off thing like casual kinda thing and now and then johnny hyung will get into a relationship (only bc ten hyung says he’s chill w it but he highkey isnt) and ten hyung will be petty and create choreo to some 90s american hoe song like toni braxton or janet jackson in order to make johnny jealous or smth and perform it at the end of summer festival in incheon and lowkey create tension in johnny hyung’s relationship and then johnny ends up being dumped and then they are chill again its an endless cycle

 

 **[injun]** thats toxic as fuck what

 

 **[baby]** i remember ten hyung offereing to teach me th choreo to this one  song but when he showed it to me i just told him no thx bc im not a heathen so

 

 **[ducky]** are u calling me a heathen?

 

 **[injun]** ARE U TELLING ME U LEARNT THE CHOREO

 

 **[ducky]** i plead the 5th

 

 **[mork]** listen the point is

 **[mork]** ten hyung wants to dance to a song that probably has a lot of slut drops

 

 **[snek]** i thought ten hyung didnt want to do stereotypically feminine choreo bc he was tired of just being seen as a twink n being emasculated

 

 **[injun]** that concept clearly flew out the windkw

 

 **[ducky]** i’ll have u know @snek that slut drops are for hoes andbeing a hoe is universa l no matter the gender

 

 **[snek]** yeah im sure u would know a lot abt being a hoe huh

 

 **[injun]** SHDGDHSJHSJ WHAT

 

 **[jeno]** wHAts DOES THAT EVEN MRAN SKDHDHDH

 

 **[child]** YEET HE’S CALLING U OUT

 

 **[ducky]** bItch I AINT NO HOE

 

 **[snek]** WHY THE FUCK ARE U ALWAYS SLUT DROPPIG AT OUR 00 LINE MEETUPS

 

 **[ducky]** ok a y wow so much for confidentiality!!! what happendd to whatever happens at 00 meetups stays between us 00 liners!!!!

 **[ducky]** aND slut drops are just smth i do when im drunk!! u have no room to judge u dramatic recite the lyrics to who do you love by the black skirts every time u get drunk

 

 **[snek]** shdkdhs Y WOULD U BRING THAT UP AHHJ

 

 **[jeno]** you doWHAT NOW

 

 **[mork]** of all the songs u could choose u have to go w the angsty one????

 

 **[snek]** mark lee is a hypocrite : expose thread!!!

 

 **[mork]** okay nvm im sorry

 

 **[injun]** EXPOSE HIM

 

 **[sushi]** omg u guys are ruthless

  


**[ 3.05pm ]**

  


**[injun]** day #7363 : no exposing of mark life ruiner lee has occured, resources running out, might have drink my own pee

 

 **[snek]** SJRHSHJS INJUN WJAT

 

 **[mork]** wHAt is WRONG WITH U

 

 **[injun]** LISTEN

 **[injun]** i love my parents and im glad to see them after so long but there is only so much i can Handle

 

 **[sushi]** a month ago i found u in ur room crying about how u were homesick

 

 **[injun]** you see this is why i hate your ass

 

 **[ducky]** yALL I GOT SOME TEA SKDHDHDJ GET THE KETTLE BOILING BOYS

 

 **[injun]** FINALLY

 

 **[ducky]** just gotta do one thing shdhdjs

  


**_ducky_ ** _added_ **_chits_ ** _to the chat!_

  


**[chits]** I ALREADY TOLD U ON PM

 **[chits]** IT WASNT ME

 

 **[ducky]** Lies

 

 **[injun]** skdhdh what happened????!!!!!

 

 **[ducky]** so jeno and i were/are on a date

 

 **[mork]** a date?

 

 **[jeno]** a best friend date

 **[jeno]** i dont want ppl to get the wrong idea and think i would drop my standard s for the likes of u

 

 **[snek]** DJDHDJDJSK

 

 **[ducky]** well fuck u then

 **[ducky]** as i was saying before i was rudely interrupted

 **[ducky]** jeno n i were on our date doing bff date things like drinking bubble tea and attempting to catch the koi fish in the fountain at the park near ddp

 

 **[snek]** isnt that illegal

 

 **[ducky]** no why would drinking bubble tea be illegal silly

 

 **[injun]** im-

 

 **[ducky]** liKE I WAS SAYING

 

 **[chits]** _he sat there, barbecue sauce on his tiddies_

 

 **[mork]** JEHDJDSKDHSHSG OH MY GOD TEN HYUNG

 

 **[baby]** what

 

 **[ducky]** stop trying to deflect!!!!!!

 

 **[injun]** stop taking ur time and just teLL US !!!!!!

 

 **[ducky]** fiNE

 **[ducky]** i saw ten hyung with mr gong in the cafe next to yoon’s bar and they looked cozy

 **[ducky]** :^))))))))

 

 **[injun]** mr gong!!!!!

 **[injun]** MY mr gong????!!!!!!

 

 **[chits]** calm down twinky toes

 

 **[jeno]** ur mr gong?? bitch what do u mean ur mr gong

 

 **[snek]** we get that ur a big gay for mr gong but damn

 

 **[ducky]** m o v i n g o n

 **[ducky]** so i see them and im like Big Gay Gasp

 

 **[snek]** he totally just gasped irl righr

 

 **[jeno]** yes

  


**_chits_ ** _left the chat!_

  


**[injun]** oop there he goes

  


**_ducky_ ** _added_ **_chits_ ** _to the chat!_

  


**[ducky]** you tried bitch!

 **[ducky]** so i gay gasped and decided to investigate

 

 **[snek]** oh my god

 

 **[baby]** what does a gay gasp even sound like

 

 **[chits]** dont be dumb u know exactly wht is sounds like

 

 **[jeno]** how could u not, donghyuck does it every 5 seconds

 

 **[mork]** donghyuck why are u like this!!!!

 

 **[ducky]** let me BE

 

 **[injun]** be what??

 **[injun]** a messy bitch?

 

 **[ducky]** shut the fuck u p renjun

 **[ducky]** i know the pass code for ur dorm bitch!

 

 **[sushi]** u know our dorm passcode?

 

 **[ducky]** yukhei hyung u are the one who gave it to me

 

 **[injun]** im going to kill u

 

 **[sushi]** who, me?

 

 **[injun]** no the guy behind u

 **[injun]** YE S YOU

 

 **[sushi]** goodbye friends im moving to russia

  
  


**[ 02.54am ]**

**[chat : whoever said that your mom’s a hoe ]**

  


**[child]** hyungs + jisung and mark

 

 **[mork]**????

 **[mork]** im a whole 2 years older than u

 

 **[child]** your point is

 **[child]** anyway i need help

 

 **[injun]** i dont get it

 **[injun]** i left korea two weeks ago and u left 1 week ago and yet im still having to deal w ur aggravating presence

 

 **[ducky]** chenle what did u do now

 

 **[child]** okay well,,,,, its a bit embarassing

 **[child]** and the only reason why im asking u guys is bc webmd will tell me i have cancer or smth

 

 **[jeno]** its probably just a stomachache

 **[jeno]** now go the fuck to sleep

 

 **[mork]** y is it that yall are allergic to being asleep at nigjt

 

 **[snek]** i had 4 americanos on mon so i havent slept in over 24hrs

 

 **[jeno]** jaemin,,,,,

 

 **[ducky]** bitch ur an addict

 **[ducky]** if u die whose gonna hype me when i ask for opinions on ig selfies

 

 **[snek]** im not addicted

 

 **[injun]** thats exactly what an addict would say

 

 **[child]** can we pls focus on me

 

 **[jeno]** i’ll pass

 **[jeno]** goodnight

 

 **[injun]** KSJDKSKSH

 

 **[mork]** chenle ge t on w what ur tryna say pls

 

 **[child]** okay so

 **[child]** i got a mosquito bite

 

 **[ducky]** youve got be fucking w me

 **[ducky]** u texted the gc for a mosquito bite

 

 **[injun]** arent u allergic to mosquitos

 

 **[child]** yeD

 

 **[injun]** okay then take antihistamines or tell ur mum or smth

 

 **[child]** but listen

 **[child]** the situation is embarrassing

 

 **[snek]** im sure its not that bad

 **[snek]** at least it probably isnt as bad as when jeno had to cut his hair rlly short in middle school bc han jisung thought it would be funny to play w a lighter and axe body spray during camp knowing fully well that jeno was going thru a white boy deodorant phase

 

 **[child]** ,,,,, what

 

 **[ducky]** jeno’s hair caught alight

 

 **[injun]** JSHDHD WHAT

 

 **[child]** rigjt

 **[child]** well its more embarrassing

 

 **[snek]** doubt it but okau

 

 **[child]** the reason why i havent told m y mum is bc i cant explain the location of the bite

 

 **[mork]** ? where is it

 

 **[child]** ,,my

 **[child]** butt cheek

 

 **[injun]** WHAT

 

 **[ducky]** iCHODHEHR YOUR ASS JSDHDHDH. HOW

 

 **[snek]** u were right

 **[snek]** this is more embarrassing

 

 **[mork]** ….. okay but that isnt too bad

 

 **[child]** no it is

 **[child]** like its near my ass crack like on the edge of my butt cheek

 

 **[ducky]** IM WHEEZINGHSHSHD WHAT HWO HWOHWOHWOHOWHOHWO

 

 **[injun]** bITCH WHAT WERE U SLEEPING W UR ASS EXPOSED AND IN TBE AIR

 

 **[child]** NO WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE NO CLUE HOW I GOT A MOSQUITO BITE THERE

 **[child]** BUT NOW I CANT SIT DOWN PROPERLY BC IT HURTS

 

 **[ducky]** im DECEASED

 

 **[snek]** i canT WTH YOU ALL

 **[snek]** im going to bed goodnight, chenle good luck w ur ass bite

 

 **[sushi]** ass bite?

 

 **[ducky]** scroll up

 

 **[sushi]** no thanks

 **[sushi]** goodnight

 

 **[chits]** why am i still here

 

 **[ducky]** bc u have nothing better to do

 

 **[chits]** a point was made

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the people wanted markhyuck so yall gon get markhyuck 
> 
> talk to me on twt!!! @baldctzen uwuwuwuwu


	14. uh oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> g*********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry its very short  
> but its short for a reason,,, dramatic effect yes

**[ 3.07pm ]**

**[ chat : whoever said that your mom's a hoe ]**

  
  


**[mork]** party at yoonoh hyung's apt 

**[mork]** be there or be square

 

**[snek]** how abt no

 

**[injun]** yall gon have a whole party knowing fully well that im not there n neither is chenle

 

**[mork]** um

**[mork]** yes

 

**[ducky]** are u gonna at least tell us why u are throwing this impromptu party? 

 

**[mork]** i got into uni!!!!

 

**[snek]** right

**[snek]** youre g********g

 

**[mork]** thank u for the enthusiasm!

 

**[snek]** no problem :)

 

**[jeno]** wow hyung, congratulations!!!

 

**[baby]** yay we'll be rid of ur seagull looking ass

 

**[mork]** jisung i know where u live

 

**[baby]** everyone knows where i live

**[baby]** u arent special

 

**[chits]** wow wow baby seagull congratulations!!! so you're gonna be joining us on campus?

 

**[jeno]** ten hyung w all due respect

**[jeno]** when are u graduating

 

**[snek]** shit YEAH

**[snek]** uve been at uni for like ever

 

**[child]** djshehsh I CHOKED 

 

**[mork]** oh my god guys 

  
  


**_chits_ ** _ left the chat! _

  
  


**[ducky]** no!!!! 

**[ducky]** i still needed to interrogate him bc of the mr gong debacle

 

**[injun]** *punches hand* yeah!

**[injun]** no one touches my mans and gets away with it

 

**[jeno]** are we going to just 

**[jeno]** tolerate injunnie thirsting over a man in his forties

 

**[snek]** yes bc its understandable 

 

**[ducky]** mark markie mark u didnt answer ten hyung's question

 

**[mork]** do i have to he isnt even here

 

**[ducky]** i mean

**[ducky]** u dont 

**[ducky]** but since ur so smart we all know u got accepted into every uni u applied to

 

**[snek]** yeah so which one did u choose

 

**[mork]** i 

**[mork]** actually got a scholarship!

 

**[baby]** wow hyung thats great!

 

**[jeno]** sjdhdh Hyung 

**[jeno]** we're so proud of u!!!!! look at u and ur smartass self

 

**[injun]** osjhddh im so happy for u mark congrats!

 

**[mork]** aw uwuwuwuwu thanks guys

**[mork]** but there is a problem ://// 

 

**[ducky]** what could possibly be the issue 

**[ducky]** u get to go to uni for free! more money to buy me food!

 

**[mork]** its overseas

**[mork]** my parents suggested i apply to unis in canada and i got in 

 

**[injun]** oh wow

**[injun]** canada is awfully far away

 

**[ducky]** but thats okay

**[ducky]** because we're so happy for u and so proud

 

**[mork]** duckie…

  
  


 

  * **_**_jeno_** _(thebestlee.jeno) to_ ** _ducky_** _(lee.dhyuck)__**



 

 

**[jeno]** yoy want me to come over?

 

**[ducky]** yes pldeasr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update! nice  
> im leaving u guys on a lil bit of a cliffhanger for now because my literature set texts arent gonna read themselves!
> 
>  
> 
> shout at me on twt @baldctzen


	15. start group call?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> '00 line group call shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a minute lol but im finally done with high school! bless up

**[ 4.05pm ]**

**[ chat : the superior line (‘00s) ]**

  
  


**[jeno]** emergency

 

**[injun]** abt th e mark thing right

 

**[snek]** im trying to text hyuckie but he isnt answering :(((( 

**[snek]** im worried

 

**[jeno]** its okay im w him

**[jeno]** got here before he ended up dissociatign or smth

 

**[injun]** i wish i  was there :(((((((

 

**[snek]** shoud i come over n we skype injunnie

 

**[jeno]** no its chill 

**[jeno]** i dont think dh will wanna skype 

**[jeno]** he almost didnt let me in his room bc “not everyone is a pretty crier jeno”

 

**[snek]** shdhdjs he has a point

 

**[injun]** lets just phone call then? 

**[injun]** i went to lunch w my cousin xiaojun lemm e just get home 

 

**[jeno]** aighty just call us when u get there

 

**[snek]** bet

  
  


_ start group call ( _ **_the superior line (‘00s)_ ** _ ) ? _

[yes]           [no]

**[yes]**          [no]

  
  


**renjun** :

(shuffling, chinese dialogue from a tv can be heard in the background)

“ _ henlo?” _

 

**jaemin** :

(hums)

_ “ _ _ injunnie? bonjour~ _ _ ” _

 

**jeno** :

(scoffs)

_ “ _ _ stop using french so obnoxiously, jaemin. renjunnie, how are you?” _

 

**jaemin** :

(gasps indignantly, the squeak of bed springs can be heard as he squirms on his bed)

_ “obnoxious? i said HELLO-” _

 

**renjun** :

(interrupting)

_ “ _ _ ah, jeno-yah, i’m good. bored though, haha. where’s hyuckie?” _

 

**jaemin** :

(quietly muttering)

_ “fine then, just ignore me. damn, didn’t know you could third wheel on a phone call.” _

 

**jeno** : 

_ “jaemin, we can hear you.” _

(the distant sound of sniffling gets louder, donghyuck grabs the phone)

_ “hey guys, it’s donghyuck speaking.” _

 

**renjun** :

_ “donghyuckie, have you been crying? you okay? _ _ ” _

 

**jaemin** :

(seemingly shocked)

_ “yah, i don’t think i’ve ever heard you being this soft with hyuck before. hmm, who are you really? _ _ ”  _ (chuckles)

 

**renjun** :

(deadpan, clearly already done with jaemin’s shit)

_ “shut up jaemin, just because you aren’t deserving of my affection. green doesn’t suit you.” _

 

**jeno (donghyuck):**

(sniffles but laughs at their bickering)

_ “ladies, ladies, you’re both beautiful. i’m okay now, jeno let me use him as a pillow to cry into.” _

( **jeno** speaks into the phone in donghyuck’s hand)

_ “ _ _ i get why jaemin’s cousin thought he was in a wet t-shirt contest that one time-” _

(the sound of a hand hitting skin reverbrates through the call, followed by a groan)

 

**renjun** :

(sighs like a disappointed mother)

_ “you can’t revert to violence when someone tells you the truth you refuse to face, donghyuck.” _

 

**jaemin** :

_ “ha! you do it all the time!” _

 

**jeno (donghyuck)** :

_ “you’re a ‘hippocrip’!” _

 

(call goes silent for what seems like an eternity)

 

**jaemin:**

(sighs)

_ “hyuckie, i think you meant ‘hypocrite’. just because ten hyung says it doesn’t mean its actually english.” _

 

**renjun:**

_ “yeah, english isn’t even his first language. i’m pretty sure his vocabulary doesn’t extend beyond cussing and pick up lines-” _

 

**jeno:**

(speaks into the phone - clearly tired of the constant topic changes)

“ _ can we please focus on the matter at hand? are we going to go to yoonoh hyung’s place for mark’s going away party?” _

 

**renjun:**

_ “i thought it was clear that i’m currently in a diiferent country? so, no.” _

 

**jaemin:**

(laughs at the audible exasperation jeno displays)

 

**jeno:**

(groans)

_ “injun, i know that. i was addressing jaemin and donghyuckie.” _

( **donghyuck** speaks)

_ “i mean, as much as i would rather chug a vat of sulphuric acid, we have to go. he’s our best friend.” _

 

**renjun:**

(sighs)

_ “listen, donghyuck, you need to tell him. before he leaves.” _

 

**jaemin:**

_ “injunnie is right, you should tell him. you can say you’re sick of something, and we can sleep over after the party.” _

 

**jeno:**

(hums)

_ “but mark hyung might be suspicious and try visit hyuckie afterwards.” _

( **donghyuck** interrupts)

_ “guys, it’s fine. we can go, i’ll be fine  _ (sniffs)  _ you underestimate my acting skills.” _

 

**renjun:**

_ “we know you’re great at acting, that’s why we’re worried. we don’t want you to bury this down and end up avoiding mark hyung like the plague.” _

 

**jaemin:**

(muses)

_ “maybe you should get a boyfriend to distract you. i volunteer jeno as tribute.” _

 

**renjun:**

(clearly fed up)

_ “jaemin! have you never read fanfictions? fake boyfriend tropes never work!” _

 

**jaemin:**

(defensive)

_ “it was just a SUGGESTION.” _

 

**jeno:**

_ “that has to be one of the dumbest things you’ve come up with. and you say  _ **_i’m_ ** _ the dumb one?” _

( **donghyuck** barks out a laugh)

_ “why would you volunteer jeno? you’re the one who came up with the idea.” _

 

**jaemin:**

(flirtatiously)

_ “oh, hyuckie? are you finally admitting your attraction to me?” _

 

**jeno (donghyuck):**

(laughs even more)

_ “sorry jaeminnie baby, i don’t crush on straight boys.” _

 

**jaemin:**

(scoffs)

_ “bold of you to assume i’m straight.” _

  
  


(silence takes over the conversation once again)

  
  


**renjun:**

(screams)

_ “i called it! i knew you were gay! ten hyung owes me 10,000won!” _

 

**jeno:**

(both jeno and donghyuck burst into bewildered laughter at renjun’s antics)

 

**jaemin:**

(gasps dramatically)

_ “you bet on my sexuality! and no technically i’m not gay, i’m aromantic. feelings are for the weak.” _

 

**jeno (donghyuck):**

_ “i’m about five seconds away from coming to your house and decking you in the face jaemin.” _

 

**jaemin:**

_ “understandable, have a good day.” _

 

**jeno (donghyuck):**

_ “anyway, i think we all know that me dating jeno would be too messy, but thank you for your valiant efforts at cheering me up. i love you guys~” _

(the sound of lips wetly smacking on jeno’s cheek rings through the phone call, followed by the sound of him squealing an elongated “ewwwwwwwwwwww”)

 

**jaemin:**

_ “can’t believe you guys are being affectionate right now. in front of my salad?” _

 

**renjun:**

“ _ oh my god, i can’t with you guys. i’m hanging up! i’ll see you guys in two days, love you.” _

 

**jaemin:**

_ “text us when you get onto your flight, okay? bye bye injunnie.” _

 

**jeno and donghyuck:**

(together)

“ _ bye bye~” _

  
  


group call ( **the superior line (‘00s)** ) ended !

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me if u guys like the format!! i tried smth new uwu  
> hope u all have a good day! and thank u for all the hits, comments and kudos oof my soul is warm and soft !!! 
> 
> talk to me on twt @baldctzen !


	16. agony... aunts? uncles? hyungs?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark needs help and renjun discovers bill wurtz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> henlo its been a minute  
> so,, it has come to my attention (my lil sis reminded me) that this fic has reached over 200 kudos!!! n over 2000 hits!!!! what to heck djkhhkcgsk thank you guys so much for reading this dumb fic oh my gosh i love u all!!!!!!1! yes thank u oof  
> im sorry im like emotionally constipated i dont know how to describe how i feel rn but im so appreciative of u guys uwu

**[ 3.34pm ]**

**[ chat : foreign swaggers ]**

 

**[chits]** will someone pls change the chat name before i rip all my hair out

**[chits]** its so cringy i might have an aneurysm 

 

**[jyani]** do u even know what an aneurysm

 

**[chits]**  do YOU

 

**[yoon5]** lmao dare u to actually rip ur hair out

 

**[jyani]** yoonoh stfu pls

  
  


**_jyani_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_ten being a whiny bitch? more likely than you think_ **

 

**[yoon5]** i thought u 2 made up wtf

**[yoon5]** guess i gotta mute this chat again smh

 

**[mork]** why does nicki minaj breathless when she’s walking up the stairs

 

**[jyani]** idk why

 

**[chits]** oh god

 

**[yoon5]** i knew i should have never unmuted this fucking chat

 

**[mork]** because

**[mork]** she got ass, ma!

 

**_chits_ ** _ has blocked  _ **_mork_ ** _!  _

**_mork_ ** _ can no longer see  _ **_chits_ ** _ ’ messages! _

 

**[mork]** waitwait

 

**_chits_ ** _ has unblocked  _ **_mork!_ **

 

**[chits]**  oh y god mark ur alive

 

**[jyani]**  yeah dude where have u been

**[jyani]**  u went awol after ur farewell party i assumed u either left w/o telling us or donghyuck killed u

 

**[mork]**  why would donghyuck kill me

 

**[chits]**  nobody tell him

 

**[mork]**  . aight

**[mork]**  anywya i need ur help

**[mork]**  ur elderly assistance

 

**[yoon5]**  dud eim only two years olde rthan u

 

**[chits]**  wow is this how mark feels when he's talking to lele or jisung

 

**[jyani]**  what do u want markie boy

**[jyani]**  does it have smth to do with a lil bundle of sunshine and evil who goes by the name of lee donghyuck

 

**[mork]**  maybe

 

**[chits]**  skdhfj JUST GET TO THE POINT MARCUS

 

**[mork]**  sjdj oof okayokay so

**[mork]** i, ur local idiot, only told 00 line + the babies i was foing to canada for a year when i invited them to the farewell party at yoonoh hyung's place

**[mork]**  and after that hyuckie kinda ignored allnmy messages n i only got to see him again at the party

**[mork]**  ane even then jeno was always around like a big handsome but scary bodyguard

 

**[chits]**  are u the same height as jeno tho

 

**[mork]**  yeah but he's Big and Muscly i look like a gangly white boy on the daily

 

**[jyani]**  im glad uve realised

 

**[mork]**  ANYWAYS

**[mork]** so i finally got to talk to him after the party ended and he was heading home n i wanted to explain thaf its only a year bu t he kept on dismissing me n stuf f

**[mork]**  and i could tell he was uoset but he wouldnt tell me

**[mork]**  now i dont )now if i wanna go to canada

 

**[jyani]**  hohohohoo what

 

**[yoon5]**  before johnny schools u for wanting to throw away a scholarship for a cute boy

**[yoon5]**  do u have any sort of idea why he might be so upset??? like have u thought abt the possibilities even the """outlandish"""" ones

 

**[mork]**  ???

 

**[chits]**  lemme give u an example

**[chits]**  maybe!!!!!! ( just maybe ) donghyuck, has a crush on u! and maybe (its just a  suggestion ) he's been pining for the longest and is sad that u didnt even tell him u applied to school across the pacfic ocean! but its like, just a possibility, like im not too sure

 

**[yoon5]**  did u tell him its just a year?

 

**[mork]**  i didnt ge tthe chance

**[mork]**  but what do u mean maybe he likes me????? is someone liking me even possible in this economy

 

**[jyani]**  listen mark, we all recognise that hyuck liking u was a big mistake on his part

 

**[mork]**  okay ouch

 

**[jyani]**  but we all saw it coming so

**[jyani]** anyway

**[jyani]** the reason why he is refusing tontalk to u properly abt this is that he cares!! he doesnt want u to change ur mind like u are now bc he c a r e s

**[jyani]**  he's giving u a chance to go n better urself academically without feel8ng guilty abt it even if u have to move to the other side of the world ! if it were up to him im sure he would have handcuffed himself to u to stop u frm leaving bc before beinf the person he likes, you are his best friend! and have been for the past 8 years!

**[jyani]**  so dont come here w that bullshitnof not wanting to go anymore !!

 

**[chits]** what he said!

 

**[yoon5]** ^^^^^!!!!!!

 

**[jyani]** and u know donghyuck woukd hate himself if u stayed because of him

 

**[mork]**  okay but what if im not reconsidering bc of him

 

**[chits]**  dont be dumb marken

 

**[yoon5]**  listen mark

**[yoon5]**  we all know that ur reconsiderinf abt of him! im sorry babey but you gotta put aside your emotions n think abt whats righr for u! donghyuckie isnt going anywhere

 

**[chits]**  yeah he'll still be here when u come back

**[chits]**  sure he may be angry or bitter n might block u and change his number but he's still here!! we can give u updates if he does actually block u on all of his social media

 

**[mork]**  :/

**[mork]** do u think i shoul dtry call him?

 

**[jyani]** i bet its worth a try

 

**[mork]** thank u hyungs for the advice 

 

**[chits]** stopi m an emotional bitch i’ll cry

 

**[yoon5]** Then Perish.

  
  


**_chits_ ** _ had blocked  _ **_yoon5_ ** _! _

**_yoon5_ ** _ can no longer see  _ **_chits_ ** _ ’ messages! _

  
  


 

**[ 6.23pm ]**

**[ chat : whoever said that your mom’s a hoe ]**

 

_ app update! _

_ [ users now have no limit on the characters used in nicknames! ] _

 

**[injun]** BITCH FINALLY

 

**_injun_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_i want to see my little boy_ **

**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ changed  _ **_child_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_his little boy_ **

**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ changed  _ **_baby_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_limp string bean_ **

**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ changed  _ **_mork_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_mark, the headass_ **

**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ changed  _ **_jeno_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_le garçon au lait_ **

**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ changed  _ **_snek_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_has never been to oovoo javer_ **

**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ changed  _ **_hyuck_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_taste the sun_ **

**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ changed  _ **_sushi_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_will smith as a sunflower_ **

**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_coming soon to a dank river valley near you_ **

  
  


**[has never been to oovoo javer]** the fuck

 

**[le garçon au lait]**  who showed u vines 

 

**[mark, the headass]** nvm vines who told u abt history of the entire world

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** my cousin xiaojun’s best friend is a weirdo and showed it to me

**[i want to see my little boy]** he even wrote chinese subs for me ti was great

 

**[limp string bean]** i hate this

**[limp string bean]** u know when we were at the airport to pick chenle up renjun hyung got jaem hyung to hold chenle 

**[limp string bean]** and as renjun hyung approached he sang  _ i want to see my little boy  _ and jaem hyung sang  _ here he comes  _  djskgfjhsgfh CURSEDT

 

**[his little boy]** how i felt? tired

**[his little boy]** what i seeked? death

**[his little boy]** hotel?  _ trivago _

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** HKSDGHKDSGHF I HATE THIS

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** i have returned

 

**[mark, the headass]** where did u even go

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** oh i went back to hong kong for like two days and cam back and slept for 28 hours

 

**[mark, the headass]** 28 hrs

 

**[limp string bean]** lucky

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** but damn so much drama n angst

**[will smith as a sunflower]** its like this became a fake deep teen movie for a sec lolol

**[will smith as a sunflower]** but DUDE congrats on the scholarship thing!!!! im proud of u bro

 

**[mark, the headass]** bro

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** bro…

 

**[le garçon au lait]** NO

**[le garçon au lait]**  DONT START

 

**[his little boy]**  guys wheres dh hyung

 

**[le garçon au lait]** that

**[le garçon au lait]** is actually a gr8 question

 

**[mark, the headass]** how do u not know ur like his body guard

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** okay well i can see where this is going

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** and i would just like to say

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** s t o p

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** yall chill 

**[i want to see my little boy]** i think he’s out w his mum or smth

 

**[mark, the headass]** imma call him

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** jeno i can tell ur typing pls dont say what u gon say

 

**[le garçon au lait]** fine

 

**[his little boy]** what type of kdrama BULLSHIT is this

  
  
**_i want to see my little boy_ ** _ kicked  _ **_his little boy_ ** _ out of the chat! _


	17. im either avoiding you or i am unavailable right now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update eskeit

( **phone rings** )

( **voicemail tone** )

 

 _“hey this is donghyuck’s phone! if you hear this, im either avoiding you or i am unavailable right now. have fun figuring out which one! or and if you’re my mother, sorry for not picking up hehe. love you!”_ ( **beep** )

 

 

(sighs)

 _“donghyuckie… it’s me. call me back, hm! or just shoot a text._  

_cool. talk to you soon.”_

  
  
  


_“hey this is donghyuck’s phone! if you hear this, im either avoiding you or i am unavailable right now. have fun figuring out which one! or and if you’re my mother, sorry for not picking up hehe. love you!”_ ( **beep** )

 

 

“ _hey hyuck, i came by your house, mum said you weren’t in. it’s okay, just…_

(takes a deep breath)

_call me okay. i have something important to tell you. uhm. yeah.”_

  
  


_“- out which one! or and if you’re my mother, sorry for not picking up hehe. love you!”_ ( **beep** )

 

 

_“i guess i should just say it right? since you’re avoiding me haha. guess i figured it out._

(silent for a few seconds)

_well, it’s okay. i know those voicemail notifications always bother you so you’ll listen to this. well i-_

(a distant voice can be heard)

  1. _mum’s calling me. i’ll tell you later.”_



  
  


_“- my mother, sorry for not picking up hehe. love you!”_ ( **beep** )

 

 

_“i’m back now. uhm…_

 

_well. don’t worry about having to tell me you’ll miss me. it’s only a year. i wanted to tell you in person at the party but jeno… yeah._

 

_well. i’ll see you on monday. at the airport. i guess you know. because of the group chat right? you just haven’t… replied. it’s okay. i get it.”_

  


 

 _“- not picking up hehe. love you!”_ ( **beep** )

  


“ _i’m in the plane. about to take off._

(shaky breathing can be heard)

 _you didn’t come. guess you were busy, it’s cool though._ (voice cracks) _being a senior is hard i guess._

 

_i have to go. i told chenle to hug you for me. heh he cried quite a bit. i’ll talk to- never mind. take care of yourself donghyuck-ah.”_

  
  


_“ - love you!”_ ( **beep** )

  


_“ah. guess i forgot, huh._

_(_ sniffles)

_i love you too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay,,, ngl i got upset with myself while writing this jfsf the angst  
> i will update again,, soon! i promise ! and dont worry about donghyuck or mark they'll be fine (ig)
> 
> sorry for the angst hahahaha i hope u enjoy tho!! yay for plotlines!


	18. yikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renjun makes an attempt on chenle's house (again) and jeno is Mad

**[ 3.28pm ]**

**[ chat : coming soon to a dank river valley near you ]**

 

 

**[le garçon au lait]** death > when your best friend hops onto the train home immediately after arriving to see u just bc u were wearing birkenstocks

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** i thought i threw ur birkenstocks out :///////

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** can you BLAME HIM

**[i want to see my little boy]** and who r u talking abt

**[i want to see my little boy]** u have no friends

 

**[le garçon au lait]** what are u guys then

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** ur parents pay me 30,000won a month to hang out w u

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** so little!

 

**[le garçon au lait]** u are dead to me

**[le garçon au lait]** i was talking abt the dumbass that isnt me jaemin or jisung

 

**[limp string bean]** HEY

 

**[his little boy]** i dont like high school

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** mood

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** ????u graduated two months ago

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** doesnt mean i cant hate high school

**[will smith as a sunflower]** the wounds… they are Fresh

 

**[le garçon au lait]**  wow uni is doing u good

**[le garçon au lait]** u seem more coherent already

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** im not coherent

**[will smith as a sunflower]** its just that all the life ha s been sucked out of me

 

**[mark, the headass]** mood

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** isnt it like…..

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** ass o clock in maple syrup land

 

**[mark, the headass]** if u meant 3am, yes it is ass o clock

 

**[his little boy]** how hardcore

**[his little boy]** what an edgelord

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** ** [redacted] ***** ******* **** *****

 

**[limp string bean]** i dont speak spanish sorry

 

**[le garçon au lait]** yes

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** damn

 

**[mark, the headass]** do any of u guys know whats up with dh? he hasnt answered any of my messages since i left three weeks ago

 

**[his little boy]** sorry chief cant help u sir

 

**[mark, the headass]** pls never can me chief again

 

**[his little boy]** alrighty captain sir

 

**[limp string bean]** wtf lele

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** shhh he’s in character

 

**[limp string bean]** WHAT

 

**[le garçon au lait]** to answer ur question donghyuck has chuagdjfsbjslv

 

**[i want to see my little boy]** he’s meditating

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** ignore jeno

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** senior chem is frying his 4 braincells he dont know how to act

 

**[his little boy]** in drama we’re learning abt immersion as a way to get into character

 

**[limp string bean]** is ur character a crackhead

**[limp string bean]** bc then u got that on lock

 

**_his little boy_ ** _kicked_ **_limp string bean_ ** _out of the chat!_

 

 

**[his little boy]** That’s What Happens When You Defy Me, Peasant.

 

**[** **i want to see my little boy** **]** he isnt here who u talking to

 

**[his little boy]** Silence, Dwarf.

 

**[** **i want to see my little boy** **]** i know ur still on campus for drama club

**[** **i want to see my little boy** **]** i will find you and kill you

 

**[his little boy]** Perish.

 

**_his little boy_ ** _kicked_ **_i want to see my little boy_ ** _out of the chat!_

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** oh my god chenle

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** i just returned to campus to pick up a hard drive

**[will smith as a sunflower]** and i saw renjun marching towards the lang block with a prop scythe

**[will smith as a sunflower]** or at least i hope it was a prop

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** it wasnt

 

**[will smith as a sunflower]** rest in pineapple

**[will smith as a sunflower]** can i play my mixtape at the funeral

 

**[his little boy]** NO

 

**[has never been to oovoo javer]** hawaiian pizzas dont have rights

 

**[le garçon au lait]** renjun’s gonna eat chenle

 

**[his little boy]** he’ll never catch me!

**[his little boy]** im like an omnipotent evasive pikachu

**[his little boy]** cute but dangerous n sneaky

 

**[le garçon au lait]** if u were any good at playing pokemon rumble world u would realise that pikachus are indeed v easy to catch

 

**[his little boy]** Quieten thy tactless speech, gymrat.

 

**_his little boy_ ** _deleted the chat!_

 

**[ 4.39pm ]**

_new chat created by_ **_jeno_ ** _(thebestlee.jeno) !_

  ** _jeno_ ** _added_ **_injun_ ** _(huang.jun00)_ **_, jaem_ ** _(ohnanajaemin)_ **_, lele_ ** _(presidentzhong)_ **_, geese_ ** _(pwark.jisung)_ **_, hyuck_ ** _(lee.hyuckie00)_ **_, six_ ** _(wangja.wong) and_ **_bark bee_ ** _(thesuperior.marklee) to the chat !_

_chat name set to_ **_stop zhong chenle and his tyranny_ **

 

**[lele]** NEVER

 

**[hyuck]** jeno you are on my HIT LIST

**[hyuck]** IM COMING FOR YOU BITCH

 

**[six]** donghyuckie!

**[six]** when did u change ur username?

 

 

**_hyuck_ ** _kicked_ **_bark bee_ ** _out of the chat!_

 

 

**[hyuck]** i changed my number

**[hyuck]** lil brother #2 threw my phone into the neighbour’s pool and i had to get a new sim

 

**[six]** oh okay

**[six]** y did u kick mark out tho lol

 

**[hyuck]** too many questions

 

**[jeno]**  stop being an ass

 

**[hyuck]** i still havent forgiven u for your shoe choice

 

**[jeno]** u havent been to school in a week

**[jeno]** an d u refuse to answer my messages

 

**[hyuck]** like i said

**[hyuck]** my phone was out of commission

**[hyuck]** and i didnt come to school bc i was sick

 

**[jeno]** didnt know that stupidity was a sickness

 

**[injun]** OKAY OKAYOKAYOKAY stop blease

 

**[hyuck]** can u chill its not that big of a deal

 

**[jeno]** we both know im not talking abt u not coming to school or ignoring my messages

**[jeno]**  u ignored me for a whole month in middle school bc i told the girl u liked that she smelt like rancid hot dogs and skittles and i got over it

 

**[six]** what the actual fuck

 

**[injun]** listen

**[injun]** if u guys are gonna fight u can do it in pm

**[injun]** u need to talk things out b4 tmrw or god help me

 

 

  * **_**_jeno_** _(thebestlee.jeno) to_ ** _hyuck_** _(lee.hyuckie00)__**



 

 

**[jeno]** listen duckie

**[jeno]** u know i hate fighting w u and i hate it when ur upset

**[jeno]** but u need to get over urself and stop ignoring mark

 

**[hyuck]** fuck off jen

**[hyuck]** there is no problem between mark n i

 

**[jeno]** if there’s no problem y have u been ignoring him since before he fucking left

**[jeno]** u didnt even see him off!

**[jeno]** and then u change ur number and refuse to even acknowledge his presence

**[jeno]** if u want me to fuck off then explain what is going on

 

**[hyuck]** why cant u mind ur own business!

**[hyuck]** this has nothing to do w u and if u hve a problem w the way i act

**[hyuck]** then ignore me ! since youre so good at “getting over” me not being around !

 

**[jeno]** hyuck u kno thats not what i meant

 

**_hyuck_ ** _has blocked_ **_jeno_ ** _!_

**_jeno_ ** _can no longer see_ **_hyuck_ ** _’s messages!_

 

**[ 5.13 pm ]**

**[ chat : stop zhong chenle and his tyranny ]**

 

 

**[lele]** petition to put down renjun hyung

 

**[geese]** oh my god qudgsh u make him sound like a dog

**[geese]** what did he do

 

**[lele]** he sure acts like a fucking dog

**[lele]** he BIT me and ripped my history essay on some old white british guy with a fucking SCYTHE

 

**[injun]** dont test me bitch

 

**[jeno]** so i listened to ur advice @ **injun**

**[jeno]** we talked it out

**[jeno]** and now i dont know a lee donghyuck

 

**[injun]** thank go d

 

 

**_injun_ ** _added_ **_bark bee_ ** _to the chat!_

 

 

**[injun]** whaT WAIT WHATWHATWHGIYSAG

**[injun]** what happened

 

**[jeno]** dh is being a lil bitch and blocked me bc i was trying to help him

**[jeno]** and to be frank i cant  be assed to deal w his shit esp during senior year

 

**[bark bee]** whoa

**[bark bee]** arent u being a bit harsh jeno

**[bark bee]** im sure he isnt acting this way for no reason

 

**[jaem]** hyung…

 

**[jeno]** wtaf

**[jeno]** you know what

**[jeno]** i dont see the need to explain myself to u when u and dh cant explain urself to one another

**[jeno]** fuck this

 

 

**_jeno_ ** _has muted the chat for : 3 months!_

_other users can not see this notification._

 

 

**[geese]** is it bad that i find this funny

 

**[lele]** i get u

**[lele]** its like a bad drama

 

**[injun]** guys blease

 

-

 

“jeno, i think you’re overreacting.”

 

“well, i think you’re underreacting.”

 

jeno slammed his locker door shut and faced the frowning boy next him, leaning on the door with his arms folded across his sweater clad chest. they maintained eye contact amidst tense silence before renjun sighed, shaking his head at the display of jeno’s characteristic stubbornness. “listen, you need to stop acting like a petty child because i don’t think i can handle another math class with you two fighting to sit next to me, especially when lee- _ssaem_ is watching,” jeno sputtered indignantly at the claim, “and when i say _you_ i mean both you and donghyuck. you’re both being babies.”

 

he rolled his eyes, “sounds to me like you want us to stop fighting because you don’t want to be embarrassed in front of your staff member crush of the month.”

 

“you’re such an ass,” renjun punched his arm in response, “as much as i am in love with lee- _ssaem_ ’s biceps and teddy bear looking face, i genuinely care about you and donghyuck! it’s hurting all of us to see you guys fighting like this.” the shorter boy trailed off as the school bell rang, his shoulders slumping as the glint of anger in his eyes faded.

 

all jeno could do as he watched his resigned friend walked away towards his next class was sigh deeply and turn around, heading to his own class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ! its been a while haha but im here again! its short i know but i haven't been able to update n stuff bc of personal problems,,, im kinda going thru it right now but its relatively okay! i'll get through it!  
> i did however, make a [cc](https://curiouscat.me/helianthum) so if you want to request any ships or one shots based off of idddy then go ahead! ask me anything uwu
> 
> i do plan on starting a new series in prose so anticipate that! and if you would like to support me and my writing then [buy me a ko-fi!](http://ko-fi.com/baldctzen) thank u for reading!


	19. jennifer lopez and dolphins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chenle and jisung ask the real questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you guys know, i changed the format so i have to reformat every chp before this one oof ,,,, sorry if its uglie
> 
> edit 08/03 : made it longer bc the length bothered me!

**[ 10.34 pm ]**

**[ chat : stop zhong chenle and his tyranny ]**

  


**[lele]** okay but i dont get it

dolphins

are fish

 

**[geese]** no they are mammals

 

**[lele]** y e a h

but they are

“”””fish””””

and they are born live

 

**[geese]** yes

 

**[lele]** and one species of dolphin are born w mustaches

 

**[geese]** n o

not mustaches hdghsj whiskers

 

**[lele]** i dont know abt you but im pretty sure those are the same things

 

**[geese]** chenle we’re goin around in circles

dolphins are mammals bc they have warm blood, give birth live and lactate

 

**[lele]** oh okay

well i dont know what lactate means but whatever

why do u know all this

 

**[geese]** last year when jaehyung hyung was helping in our eng class we watched blue planet w subs

i wish david attenborough was my granddad

 

**[six]** mood

 

**[lele]** _GEGE_

why is it that u come onto this chat just to say mood

i havent heard frm u in 3 months :((((((((((

 

**[six]** why dont u visit me

i still stay at the dorm w lil huang n everyone else

 

**[lele]** renjun ge changed the passcode on the door n didnt tell me :(

 

**[geese]** wild

 

**[injun]** im not going to tell u and neither will xuxi hyung if he treasures his life >:)

 

**[lele]** what is senior year doing to u

 

**[jaem]** fucking me up the ass with a chainsaw

 

**[geese]** im going to puke

  


**[ 3.45 pm ]**

  


**[lele]** but how does the sky turn pink though

 

**[geese]** when does the sky turn pink???

 

**[lele]** during sunsets

 

**[geese]** have u done the history assignment yet

 

**[lele]** i wasnt in school

 

**[geese]** im v aware u werent in school

u left me to do our presentation on marxism by myself

u didnt give me the password to ur prezi acc so i coudnt even present!

 

**[lele]** im sorry

jennifer lopez’ eggs were hatching :///

oh an d i accidentally ate a snickers bar

 

**[geese]** i have too many wuestions

who is jennifer lopez

and how do u accidentally eat a snickers bar when u have a peanut allergy

 

**[lele]** jennifer lopez is my pet salamander

i was inspired while watching blue planet

n by watching i mean marathoning both seasons

and i wanted to know what it tasted like! but no w im in icu ://///

 

**[geese]** u’re in icu an d u DIDNT TELL US

 

**[injun]** what

 

**[jaem]** oh my god chenle

 

**[lele]** its not tha deep! i just couldnt breathe for a while its chill after like an hour i was fine

but my face still looks like a balloon so i have to chill here for a bit

 

**[geese]** which hospital are u at

 

**[lele]** dont come im uglie

 

**[geese]** ur a fucking idiot

idk whether to laugh or punch u in the nads

 

**[hyuck]** not even halfway thru the year

chenle already receiving l of the year

 

**[bark bee]** chenle…

 

**[hyuck]** ew

 

**[geese]**  dhkzdfjsdh

 

**[lele]** i said its no biggy DAMn

but that shade though

 

**[geese]** whoa

i think this is the first time in 5 months everyone is online

well except for jeno

 

**[jeno]** i am present

 

**[injun]** its our final year n exams are in 4 months

 

**[geese]** uhm okay

  
**[lele]** im not seeing ur point but okay

 

 

**[ 1.52am ]**

  
  


**[hyuck]** my flow is a bippity bop

yeah

your rap is a flippity flop

yeah yeah

your hair looks like a mop

uh

its wickity wack 

like ur slacks 

yeah they were rlly ugly 

but somehow u pulled it off anyway

 

**[bark bee]** donghyuck pls stop

 

**[jeno]** does this mean ur over ur petty bullshit

i miss u :(

 

**[hyuck]** ugh u big puppy

yeah we’re fine now

i missed u too

 

**[injun]** im glad the besties are reunited

but its almost 2am

and we have mocks tomorrow

 

**[jaem]** let rapmaster dhyuck finish his rap

 

**[bark bee]** or he can

not

 

**[jaem]** i think it needs smth extra ya know

a little bit of  _ je ne sais quoi  _

 

**[hyuck]** idk what u just said but ur german impresses me

i am open to suggestions

 

**[six]** ion think thats german

 

**[bark bee]** pls dont do this

 

**[jaem]** y dont u add smth like “my sick sensuality triggers ur repressed homosexuality”

 

**[bark bee]** THATS INVALID

IM NOT CLOSETED WTF

 

**[jeno]** u sound like a salt n pepa song

and mark hyung, ur the only person i know who could be straight and gay at the same time 

so no

 

**[geese]** isnt being straight n gay at the same time being bisexual

 

**[jeno]** no

mark hyung just has some internalized homophobia

 

**[lele]** damn mark just got read

like a fucking book

 

**[six]** get rekt

 

**[injun]** jeno STOP

dont read ppl when u could use some introspective reflection too

ur a basic ass korean boy who likes fidget spinners n thinks giriboy is a style icon

how do u know who salt n pepa are

 

**[bark bee]** why is it that when i get rid of drama in my life, more enters within a millisecond

 

**[geese]** we jus sayin

no one believes u when u say u have a non homosexual broner for donghyuck

 

**[hyuck]** broner?????

fuck outta here

 

**[lele]** lmao get fucked mark hyung

 

**[bark bee]** why does everyone hate me

 

**[jeno]** it isnt everyone

its just me

 

**[injun]** JENO

 

**[six]** whats up w this angst

 

**[jeno]** there is no angst

i love u marky bro but your idiocy is tiring

 

**[bark bee]** im over a thousand miles away from you and i still cant escape the slander

 

**[lele]** idk what u were expecting honestly

 

**[bark bee]** okay

okay

fine

explain to me why im an idiot

 

**[injun]** do u want him to be specific or list errthing

bc thats gonna take a while

 

**[jaem]** yeet

 

**[hyuck]** S TO P

i want to know why bark bee is stupid

 

**[jeno]** actually nvm

 

**[injun]** what the fuck…

 

**[jeno]**  im trying to not be messy this year :]

 

**[lele]** since when have u ever been messy

 

**[jaem]** no he is messy

trust me

 

**[injun]** he accidentally broke hyunjin and seungmin up for two weeks bc of a rumour

 

**[hyuck]** lolllll i remember that

i had to stop hyunjin from stomping on jeno’s lil head

 

**[lele]** oh my god

 

**[jeno]** im not gonna

explain how that came to be

lets just say i need to be more aware of who’s around me when i talk abt ppl’s relationships

 

**[injun]** it was actually so dumb of my gd

 

**[jeno]** HOW WAS I MEANT TO KNOW HYUNJIN WAS POLY

i was worried bc seungmin is a close friend

n e who

yeah miss messy boots aka me is long gone

 

**[bark bee]** what

  
  


 

  * **_**_bark bee_** _(thesuperior.marklee) to_ ** _jeno_** _(thebestlee.jeno)__**



 

  
  


**[bark bee]** what the fuck dude

 

**[jeno]** im jus sayin

be careful w what u get tagged in on ig

i know u still have ur head ten feet up hyuckie’s ass

so u dont wanna fuck it up when he’s just “gotten over” u up and leaving

 

**[bark bee]** i didnt up and leave dude

i told u guys i was going

i wpuld have stayed if hyuck wanted me to

 

**[jeno]** but u know he wasnt gonna do that

ive told u this before n im sure the hyungs in ur dumb foreign swaggers gc have too

donghyuck loves you bro

and he wouldnt wann get in the way of ur education

 

**[bark bee]** thn why was he so upset

he ignored me

he changed his number

jeno he evn fucking ghosted when i wanted to see him the day i left

 

**[jeno]**  donghyuck is a dumbass!

but he’s a dumbass with bad coping mechanisms and too many emotions

 

**[bark bee]** look this still doesnt tell me why u pissed at me

 

**[jeno]** im s a y i n g

donghyuck is in love w u and u w him and you know this

so why are u dating other people when u know fully well that he wouldnt do that to u

 

**[bark bee]** u arent my mom! what the actual fuck jeno

is it bad that i want to meet new people while im here ??? must i stay fucking celibate for the rest of my life while i wait for donghyuck

 

**[jeno]** DUDE ARE  U LISTENING TO YOURSELF

ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY

so what ur gonna just sleep w ppl while ur there while dh remains waiting for u

do u know realise that you arent the one waiting for donghyuck

he;s waiting for you

he’s been waiting for you 

he’s been waiting for u to get ur head outta ur ass for the longest fucking time 

 

**[bark bee]** what

 

**[jeno]** hyuck is the most impatient asshole im ever met

but his patience is fucking infinite when it coms to u

so now that he suddenly decides that he wants u to take initative and approach him 

u suddenly say that youre the one waiting???

u didnt even hold a full conversation w him at ur leaving party

 

**[bark bee]** WHO;S FUCKIGN FAULT IS THAT

u were actually like a fucking guard dog all night how was i meant to approach him

 

**[jeno]** so u wanna blame ur lack of communication skills on me????????

you could have justasked to talk to him in priv

 

**[bark bee]** im fucking done w this conversation

its near 3am go to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short update woop im s o r ry i will post a long long looooong chp soon i promith  
> idk if u can actually end up in icu bc of a peanut allergy bc i myself dont have one but u know, creative freedom and all that  
> i promise there will be resolution of the pseudo angst lmao i promiseeeeee
> 
> 1 kudos = 1 kiss on the cheek for chenle and his salamander 
> 
> edit 08/03 : if u hate me its understandable dhhdkdh i hate myself so  
> buuut i did say i would resolve the angst! between markhyuck that is hahaha
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/helianthum)  
> [ko-fi](http://ko-fi.com/baldctzen)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/baldctzen)


	20. reunited, and it feels so good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno and donghyuck talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys !! before the chp begins, if you haven't already, please reread the last chapter, i kinda rewrote it and added a extra bit at the end so this chapter wont make sense unless you reread it!  
> i hope everyone has been well and had a good easter weekend !! if you dont celebrate easter then i hope u had a good weekend nonetheless uwu 
> 
> here's some fluff to celebrate babey jeno's birthday!! happy jeno day!

**february**

**[ 12.32pm ]**

  
  


 

  * **_**_hyuck_** _(lee.dhyuck) to_ ** _jeno_** _(thebestlee.jeno)__**



 

 

**[hyuck]** bitch

tell me whats wrong

 

**[jeno]** nothing is wrong!

 

**[hyuck]** do u think im STUPID

do i look like jisung to u

 

**[jeno]** f

 

**[hyuck]** jeno im serious!

i even spelt out srs in full for u

you never use punctuation unless you’re in your feelings

 

**[jeno]** its not that deep im just stressed

 

**[hyuck]** okay well stop

hol up i’ll be right back

 

**[jeno]** ???? where ar e u going

  
  


**[ 01.23pm ]**

  
  


**[hyuck]** okay im back

 

**[jeno]** u were gone for an hr??? 

boy what did u do

 

**[hyuck]** checked ur natal chart

 

**[jeno]** my what

 

**[hyuck]** oh my god jeno

last year renjun made one for all of us after visiting his aunt in guangzhou

apparently she’s a psychic

 

**[jeno]** wha t 

 

**[hyuck]** ur moon is in sagittarius so u tend to hide ur sensitivities 

i may not be able to usnderstand exactly what that means

but i say we gonna have to talk it out!

 

**[jeno]** i dont think thats what it means

 

**[hyuck]** what it means doesnt matter

im outside your door

with yukhei hyung

so put on some pants and lets get cracking

  
  
  


jeno’s eyes widened in surprise, and he jumped off his bed, throwing himself at his window facing the street behind his house (sadly tripping on a sock in his efforts.)

 

yanking the window open, he peers over the ledge only to find yukhei in a car he can’t recognise, blasting japanese 80s citypop while donghyuck leans on the passenger door with a megaphone under his arm. 

 

wait, a megaphone?

 

without even looking up to the window a shirtless and panicked jeno hung halfway out of, he started to raise it up to his mouth. 

 

“wait!” jeno whisper-shouted to the boy outside, who now stared up at him through his newly dyed fringe with his lips pursed. “wait, wait wait. my parents are sleeping! i’m coming!” 

 

completely disregarding what jeno just said, donghyuck starts to use the megaphone anyway, with the siren on for added dramatic effect. “its one in the afternoon you idiot! time is money, jeno! now put a shirt on and, come! out! side!” 

 

he could only groan in response while he hurriedly threw a sweater and jeans on, tears nearly forming at his eyes at the thought of how much shit he was gonna get from his older sister as the reverb of donghyuck’s amplified words seems to vibrate throughout the house. 

he ran,  _ but stealthily _ , down the stairs, an effort that proved to be useless as it appeared that every member of his household was already awake. and staring at him. well.

 

“jeno-yah, did you sleep well?” his mother asked, walking up to his frozen self and brushing the hair out of his eyes. at the contact, jeno seemingly came to his senses and flushed red at the realisation that his family had heard donghyuck hollering behind the hedge bordering their backyard. 

 

his dad passed jeno his glasses that lay on the coffee table, along with a bit of money as he walked to the back door. “say hello to donghyuck for us. and please tell him that his wake up calls don’t have to be so passionate. and loud, next time.” his sister who sat on the arm chair opposite simply barked a laugh from behind her textbook as he exited the house.

 

when he got to the car (that he still couldn’t recognise) he was met by the sight of yukhei silently laughing his ass off in the driver’s seat as donghyuck got scolded by one of the neighbourhood grannies on her afternoon strolls. his entire face burnt a bright red as he repeatedly bowed in apology, the megaphone hidden behind his back. 

 

after that ordeal, jeno like always, found himself wrapped up in the hurricane that was donghyuck and only came to his senses after he found himself in front of what seemed to be a cat cafe, mindlessly waving goodbye to yukhei as he drove away ( _ note to jeno - ask where yukhei hyung got that car,  _ he frowned as he thought to himself,  _ scratch that, ask yukhei hyung how he even got his license. _ )

 

donghyuck pressed his thumb on the crease between jeno’s eyebrows, “don’t think too hard about it, i can see the steam coming out of your head. yukhei borrowed the car from a senior he’s dating.” 

 

“yukhei has a boyfriend? how did he manage that?” his frown only deepened as his brain worked overtime trying to figure out that enigma along with the driver license issue. 

 

donghyuck rolled his eyes dramatically and with flourish, the way only a gemini could, and clicked his fingers together in front of his best friend’s face in attempts to get his attention.

“hey, hey, hey! he has a girlfriend. but that’s not the point, dear no-jam.” he motioned to the cafe in front of them, “anyway, look! because i love you and you’re my bestie, i brought you here for a  _ bfdate _ !”

 

jeno made one of his classic noises of confusion and tilted his head, the frown on his face still apparent. “a what? are you having one of those days where you refuse to speak korean?” 

 

“no, what the hell jeno,” he indignantly slapped jeno’s arm, then grabbed it to drag him into the warmth of the building as they had been standing outside for a solid 20 minutes. “a  _ best friend date, b f date.  _ for your birthday!” donghyuck made sure to enunciate the english words and letters as much as possible, well aware of jeno’s lack of proficiency in the language.

 

jeno felt winded as he sunk further into the donghyuck-induced bewilderment. “my birthday is in two months. and what you just said makes no sense-” 

 

his response was cut off by a loud sneeze, the reality of his current situation settling in as his eyes watered up and his nose started to drip like a leaky tap. 

 

donghyuck sat him down at a small booth and slammed a mask and a bottle of what jeno assumed to be allergy medicine,  _ because surely donghyuck doesn’t hate me that much,  _ and exclaimed a loud “ha!” looking awfully proud of himself as he sat down next to the sniffling boy. “since im a great friend, i stole your allergy medicine two weeks ago just for this occasion! i even brought my epi-pen just in case, although it’s in yukhei’s car now,” he trailed off quietly, “but it’s the thought that counts, right?”

 

jeno, still frowning, makes another noise signalling his confusion. “you weren’t at my house two weeks ago though? and how would an epi-pen help me? you still haven’t explained why we are celebrating my birth-”

 

“listen jeno,” donghyuck interrupted the rambling boy, “just because you weren’t aware i was at your house, doesn’t mean i wasn’t there. and before you assume im capable of breaking and entering,”  _ you are though,  _ jeno thought to himself, “jieun noona let me in. as for the epi-pen thing, i’m not sure, i don’t do science at school, you know this. and i won’t be around for your birthday because i have to go to my grandma’s for easter.”

 

the look on jeno’s face finally eased up as he mulled over donghyuck’s words. “ _ okay _ ,” the last syllable stretched over the silence, “but then why didn’t you just choose to do it next month at the same time as injunnie’s birthday?” 

 

“jenoooooooooo,” the silver haired boy shook him by the shoulders as he whined. “time is money! time is of the essence! i have money this time so i gotta use it now! but i won’t have money then! because i’m saving up from the animal crossing game for my switch.” 

 

“what are you gonna give renjun then?”

 

“isn’t my friendship enough?” he simply stated, before grabbing a cat, pushing it into jeno’s arms and stalking off to the front of the store to order with a quick “don’t move.”

  
  


by the time donghyuck had returned with their drinks, a mango infused cup of lemon tea for himself and a kale-beetroot shake (jeno’s mother was going through a vegan phase again) jeno had put on the mask and soon found himself surrounded by several cats, one even hanging off his shoulder - looking a little stuffy but ultimately at peace. for now, at least.

 

“look here, jen. we need to talk.”

 

alas, the peace. gone until further notice.

 

jeno opened his eyes and turned to donghyuck to the best of his ability as he tried to not disturb the several napping kittens around him, wilting when he met donghyuck’s gaze.

 

“hyuckie, i swear i’m fine. i’m just stressed. finals are soon and i-” donghyuck interrupts him for the nth time in the past 3 hours, this time looking considerable more serious than the times before.

 

“i know it’s not only finals jen,” he grabs the kitten from jeno’s shoulder before it slips off, “i know this is about mark hyung. and before you ask me how i know, hyung hasn’t changed his icloud password since he got his laptop 2 years ago, i saw the messages. also, im not stupid, i saw the picture he was tagged in and he clearly was trying to hide it, seeing that he posted the same thing on his instagram story.”

 

actively choosing to disregard the fact that donghyuck guiltlessly hacked into mark’s account and invaded his privacy ( _ i was using his apple music subscription, it’s not like that,  _ donghyuck added, completely ignoring the obvious contradiction in his statement - considering that mark had changed to samsung three months prior), jeno sighed in resignation, running his hand through his dark hair as he turned to the boy next to him. 

 

donghyuck met his gaze and looked back down to the now asleep tabby in his lap. “i understand,” his voice wavers, “i understand that you’re like this because you care, and you don’t wanna see me get hurt, but i’m- i’m not a small child. nor am i some damsel in distress. i can deal with mark lee on my own.” rubbing at his cheeks, he looks back up at jeno, bristling slightly as frustration built up inside his chest.

 

“i can deal with mark lee wanting to be an asshole while he’s in canada. i just need you to support me rather than ruin your own friendship with him because of me. you can’t fight for me forever, you know.” donghyuck gives him a watery smile, before standing up and pulling jeno into a hug.

 

jeno hums and pats donghyuck’s back affectionately. “i just want you to be happy, you know. mark hyung’s one of my best friends but you’re like my platonic soulmate, i can’t sit by and watch you hurt.” 

 

donghyuck pulls away with a sigh and moves to sit back down, causing the cats that chose to occupy his seat to rapidly scatter. “you aren’t ‘sitting by’, just be here for me the same way renjunnie and jaemin are and i’ll be fine.” he looks back up at jeno’s standing figure and gives him a brighter, seemingly less burdened smile, “if he wants to meet new people, i can too. maybe i should get a boyfriend like jaemin suggested before.”

 

shaking his head with a laugh, jeno responded, “as much as i’m glad you’re back to being the chaotic... hyuck that you are, i’m not going to be your boyfriend. i’m not an emotional support dog.” 

 

“not you idiot!” donghyuck hit him after choking slightly on his now luke warm tea at the implications of his response. “i said someone new, didn’t i! although, yukhei hyung does look good while driving.” a almost mischievous grin grew on his face as he thought back to the drive to and from jeno’s house. 

 

“i thought you said he had a girlfriend?”

 

“yeah, he does. for now at least.”

  
  
  


after the two left the cafe, cheeks warm from the comfort of the cafe and the happiness (and relief) accompanying the resolution of their problems, they made their way back to a bus stop, yukhei’s chauffeur services sadly unavailable due to not actually owning the car he drove. 

 

once jeno sat on the small bench, donghyuck soon following, a thought occurred to him. looking around, he noticed the lack of a certain something in donghyuck’s hands. “hey hyuck, where’s your megaphone?”

 

“oh that,” donghyuck simply replied while attempting to tuck his rather long fringe to the side with a hair pin. “it’s not mine.”

 

jeno’s eyebrows shot halfway up his forehead in surprise. “it belonged to yukhei hyung?”

 

donghyuck turned to him with an incredulous expression on his face, while still trying to hold back his hair with even more hair pins procured from the endless depths of his coat pockets. “jeno, don’t you think hyung is loud enough without one? don’t be dumb, it belongs to his girlfriend. it was in the back, along with placards about the environment and stuff.”

 

“yukhei is going out with someone who’s like, a activist? like those greenpeace people who chain themselves to trees?”

 

“i guess. well for now, at least.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! i hope this eased ur heart a little, i promise i wont drag out the angst too much frm now on! my prose writing is a lil rusty so please point out if there are any mistakes! alsooooo   
> please comment if u think i should start formatting the fic in a way that indicates the month/date bc there are a few time skips and i dont think its too clear ehe
> 
> talk to me on twitter @baldctzen or my cc helianthum! love u!


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